Showing posts with label minblog. Show all posts
Showing posts with label minblog. Show all posts
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
Grandma, grandpa, parents, young and old ..What do they have in common?
The word love- as in lovers. There are more lovers in this world than not. It's a uniting force that has sustained humanity. Do you love some one? Research tells us we say nicer things to stranger than the person we love, because we count on their unconditional love. Today, tell that person how much they matter to you. Say something to rock their world. Today I have summoned a paragraph for my love. . . How 'bout you?
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
The Power of our Words
The single largest predictor of happiness in a relationship comes down to the number of positive acts, affirmations compared to the number of negative actions. In other words, actions and words can hurt. The quickest way to rid yourself of a partner is to forget this rule. So for today try this exercise a practice I live on a daily basis. Tell the people you love something nice about themselves. Maybe it is something you appreciate; a quality, a small act they might have done for you....
Why am I telling you this? I've been doing this for almost 2o years. It came to me one day when I stood at the base of the staircase screaming at the kids and my husband. As my voice echoed up the landing and around the corner a reality hit me: I sounded exactly like the kind of person I did not like. I sounded like my own mother! (Sorry mom, I love you but you really were a huge complainer!)
On that day I tried a new tactic. Polite asking, calmness and reminding myself to tell my family and those I love something that affirms my feelings. So often we say nicer things to strangers than the people we love. We take advantage of the fact that their love is always there - despite what we do. Unconditional love needs to be rewarded!
I have spent the last three weeks flat on my back from a surgical procedure and while I have had a headache, been unable to write, have a mental fog, and I have been depressed. I cannot take care of any of them. I can't even bathe. My kids and husband have rallied around me and when I began crying about how terrible and confused I feel my husband looked at me and said, " We all love you so much and have no problem taking care of you for a while." Then they made me dinner and after my husband helped me shampoo my hair and painted my toenails.
I lay on the bed laughing while he made polka dots on my nails. "You are the best husband," I told him. He smiled back and cuddled up next to me and said, "I know you think so and I hope I can always be that great-man-on-the-pedestal that you put me on." And he is and was.
Today, for me, tell someone you love something nice.
Why am I telling you this? I've been doing this for almost 2o years. It came to me one day when I stood at the base of the staircase screaming at the kids and my husband. As my voice echoed up the landing and around the corner a reality hit me: I sounded exactly like the kind of person I did not like. I sounded like my own mother! (Sorry mom, I love you but you really were a huge complainer!)
On that day I tried a new tactic. Polite asking, calmness and reminding myself to tell my family and those I love something that affirms my feelings. So often we say nicer things to strangers than the people we love. We take advantage of the fact that their love is always there - despite what we do. Unconditional love needs to be rewarded!
I have spent the last three weeks flat on my back from a surgical procedure and while I have had a headache, been unable to write, have a mental fog, and I have been depressed. I cannot take care of any of them. I can't even bathe. My kids and husband have rallied around me and when I began crying about how terrible and confused I feel my husband looked at me and said, " We all love you so much and have no problem taking care of you for a while." Then they made me dinner and after my husband helped me shampoo my hair and painted my toenails.
I lay on the bed laughing while he made polka dots on my nails. "You are the best husband," I told him. He smiled back and cuddled up next to me and said, "I know you think so and I hope I can always be that great-man-on-the-pedestal that you put me on." And he is and was.
Today, for me, tell someone you love something nice.
Thursday, January 12, 2012
Worth the Wait- miniblog
A tiny tip- (miniblog)
Playing hard to get works, for both men and women. "Easy" implies a lot: you are not discreet, not choosy, got one thing on your mind, you do not require work, you do not require anyone puts effort into your needs. . . It takes weeks to get the most beautiful flowers in my garden to grow, but the weeds shoot up in 24 hours; the more effort we put into something, the more we tend to value it- it's called effort justification (a psychological principle). We want what we can't have (the forbidden toy), another principle. Last, the double standard will always exist; men don't look for wives in strip clubs. Make a "so many date" rule.
Dr. Dawn Marlena Hopper
Playing hard to get works, for both men and women. "Easy" implies a lot: you are not discreet, not choosy, got one thing on your mind, you do not require work, you do not require anyone puts effort into your needs. . . It takes weeks to get the most beautiful flowers in my garden to grow, but the weeds shoot up in 24 hours; the more effort we put into something, the more we tend to value it- it's called effort justification (a psychological principle). We want what we can't have (the forbidden toy), another principle. Last, the double standard will always exist; men don't look for wives in strip clubs. Make a "so many date" rule.
Dr. Dawn Marlena Hopper
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