tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-54673347687812454232024-03-14T10:48:11.266-07:00Sex and Love 100......Uncensored musings on sex, love, and relationships...Dr. (Yes I am) Dawn Hopper
David's wifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17468157675342425570noreply@blogger.comBlogger64125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5467334768781245423.post-50088060091586826902013-11-20T07:27:00.002-08:002013-11-20T07:28:35.671-08:00SEXTING after 50OMG. KATHY LEE and HODA are talking about SEXTING. AFTER 50. And "selfies" those pictures . . .<br />
I haven't seen my own ass in twenty years and frankly I don't want anyone else to see it. It's candles (waxless from QVC) by the bedside for me. It's laying flat then bunching my arms by my side so my boobs stay out of my armpits. He needs bifocals so thank God he can't see the sprouting hairs under my nose.<br />
OK- I admit I have sent messages to David while he's working upstairs and I'm working downstairs.<br />
<br />
"Honey can you walk the dog?"<br />
Ten minutes- No answer.<br />
"Honey PLEASEEEEE walk the dog."<br />
Ten minutes- No answer. So I walk the dog. <br />
We're back. I type,<b>"Honey, I'm downstairs NAKED- I neeeeeddd you. I need you to check out my body. . . all the parts I can't see." </b>My panties drop to the ground.<br />
<br />
I hear the rumble of his feet.There I am naked, with the couch throw over my shoulders.<br />
He looks longingly at me.<br />
"<i>I</i> walked the dog. Now check me for ticks."<br />
<br />
<br />David's wifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17468157675342425570noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5467334768781245423.post-64468804801682803872013-11-19T06:30:00.000-08:002013-11-19T06:30:13.676-08:00The Fine Line Between Love and Hate <div class="MsoNormalCxSpFirst">
I really hate my husband
today. HATE! It’s OKAY to use that word, I’m a psychologist, and I gave you permission.
Since we got the puppy I have learned a lot more about Mr. Perfect—and myself.
How could I miss these qualities? <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
“Honey,” I begged, “since I sprained my ankle on the log
you threw under the bunch of leaves you had to rake in a pile across the path,
could you walk the dog?” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
He grabs a sweatshirt (so I know this isn’t going to be a
long trek), then discards the leash. Princess, he claims, knows he’s the <i>alpha</i> male. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
Five minutes later I ask, “Did she poop and pee?” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
“I don’t know, I was raking, and cutting shrubs.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
“Shrubs, cutting? I ask the man who doesn’t know a tulip
from a rose.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
“I found a clipper.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
That thought is ambushed when Princess begins to sniff
the new wool rug in the dining room. Princess is now 12 weeks weighs 43 pounds.
I find out in the next minute her poop weighs half of that. One ruined cake
spatula later, a roll of paper towels (<i>Bounty</i>),
I see her squat again. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
I scream so loud even David’s rectum seizes two stories up.
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
What to put on? Princess has thankfully left me with one
of every shoe; a boot and rubber clog (which worked with my ace-bandaged foot),
David’s sweat shirt; my fifty dollar silk scarf (for only $19.00 at <i>Marshalls</i>) and I run outside. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
Princess unloads. She makes a prefect <i>Dairy Queen</i> size softie on David’s
sacred lawn. Yes, he designated the “lawn” as sacred. We have 4 acres of grass.
Oh well, we couldn’t make it to the hinterlands, I thought. “Rotten me,” I tell
princess. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
She appeared to know exactly what I’m thinking. She looks
quite charming with my scarf run through the collar. And I smile, long enough
to crook my head down to her and glimpse the climbing roses that should have
been behind her head. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
A nub. They are nothing but a nub. Twenty years and my roses
look like that discount plastic sack they sell for $5.99-take-your-chances at
the discount department store. The ends of the branches were ripped and torn as
if they were sawed off. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
I yank my silk scarf and march upstairs to his library (the
bathroom).<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
“What the F-U-C-K is wrong with you? Yeah I spell it. But
that’s another story. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
As I yelled out my complaint, as he told me his story—fining
the new clippers—a <i>You Tube</i> video on
pruning—my hand found the weighty object in his sweatshirt pocket. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
I pull out my brand new ergonomic orange handled fifty-dollar
Frisker Sewing Scissors. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
“Dawn, you know, they really took you on those things.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
ONE HOUR LATER: </div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
"Sweetheart, you're not blogging that story, are you? You know I'll go right up to that store and buy you another one of those things." </div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
David's wifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17468157675342425570noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5467334768781245423.post-81664115774542038992013-10-12T08:20:00.000-07:002013-10-12T08:20:00.345-07:00How to Attract and Keep a Loser . . . <div class="MsoNormalCxSpFirst">
I’m thinking of a series
because there's just too much to write. Here's the first few you need to do to
turn him off (or on) depending what you are looking for. I've gathered these
hints from 20 years of experiences with kvetching women, friends and my experience as a therapist/researcher. </div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<b>You have just connected in person, on
the phone, via email, or text. </b><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
1) Believe everything
you see and hear. If you have met online take his profile as gospel<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
2) Rather than discuss politics,
news events, or neutral topics (Gee, that storm last night was terrible . . .),
talk about yourself—a lot. Tell him how great you are, how many men you have
put in your slush pile, how valuable you are as a partner, and make sure to
reveal all your requirements in a potential mate, sprinkled through your
conversation. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
“Family is sooo important
to me.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
Now that you’ve told
him what he needs to do to jump your bones, make sure you tell him how your ex
failed, so he can avoid doing those things. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
“My ex was a terrible parent.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
3) Don’t ask him anything
about himself, where he works, how long he’s worked there, where he was born .
. . .Don’t ask the questions that might give you a hint that you’re sitting
across from a psychopath, sex addict, liar, or loser. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
4) Allow him to text, or
email most of your early pseudo conversations, rather than meet in person.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
5) Don’t check him out.
Don’t run to Facebook, Google his name, go to his employers website, check out
his address (where you might find a ramshackle mobile home, a wife, kids, or
foreclosure notice on the front door). <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
6) Daydream. Create all
kinds of positive scenarios, because you know he’s prefect. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
7) Disregard everything
your friends tell you. What do they know? <o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
David's wifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17468157675342425570noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5467334768781245423.post-80671157118441812782013-10-08T17:54:00.000-07:002013-10-08T17:54:33.401-07:00TEXTING a Break up- Oh Please Give Me a Hydro, My Head is Splitting- Thank You Quinn Woodward Pu<div class="MsoNormalCxSpFirst">
Could someone please mail
me a hydrocodone, <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
I have a splitting
headache.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
For the past month I’ve
been preoccupied with my friend, SUZY’s break-up. Almost a year, after she
rubbed the gloss off Mr. X, I’m a athlete (as long as it doesn’t cast money), into
Zen (come and let us feel each other), I have a dick that never stops (I take Viagra
because my prostrate is not working), entrepreneur (I’m chronically unemployed),
and feminist (I’m into splitting the check and three-somes). It was a yearlong, and YES SHE TEXTED her
displeasure and need to break-up. They met, and she delivered the final blow.
Cruel? For texting? Considering their relationship
was ½ texts, I think not. At least she had the courage to face him at Panera
(while he ate and never offered her even a cup of coffee).<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
Speaking about breaking
up via a text . . .<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
Bethany featured Could someone please mail
me a hydrocodone,</div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpFirst">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
I have a splitting
headache.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
For the past month I’ve
been preoccupied with my friend, SUZY’s break-up. Almost a year, after she
rubbed the gloss off Mr. X, I’m a athlete (as long as it doesn’t cast money), into
Zen (come and let us feel each other), I have a dick that never stops (I take Viagra
because my prostrate isn’t working), entrepreneur (I’m chronically unemployed),
and feminist (I’m into splitting the check and three-somes). It was a yearlong, and YES SHE TEXTED her
displeasure and need to break-up. They met, and she delivered the final blow.
Cruel? For texting? Considering their relationship
was ½ texts, I think not. At least she had the courage to face him at Panera
(while he ate and never offered her even a cup of coffee).<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
Speaking about breaking
up via a text . . .<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
Bethany featured Quin
Woodward Pu, a 26-year-old writer who kvetched –via her blog- Little Black Blog-about
his break-up via text. Now Ms. Pu, you made a stink on national TV, I am sure
it added revenue to your blog and career as a memoire writer but you certainly
gave me pause (adding to my headache) because you are a self-centered, egoistical,
prima-donna, who could not take a little rejection. Actually, rejection is too big
a word. He was just not that interested in you. Get over it- it was two dates,
and no sex (at least that is what you say). <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
However, after hearing
you describe yourself as the kind of woman who gets a lot of attention from a
lot of men, I’m sure the word <i>rejection</i>
is not in your vocabulary. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
GROW UP Ms. PU!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
It was not a break-up!
A break up results after a serious run of dates! My daughter, your age, Emily,
says a break-up occurs after a commitment of monogamy and emotional commitment occurs
between two people. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<b>Are you nuts?</b> “He was friendly enough, but annoyingly and sloppily
drunk, which is why I offered my email address when he asked for my number.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
The day I’d offer my
number to a drunken slob at a bar is the day someone needs to hit me in the
head with a 2 x 4. They had a date, which turned dinner and champagne. “I kinda
have chemistry with pretty much everyone, because I really like talking to
people and winning over complete strangers.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<b>Are you kidding?</b> Well that’s your problem. Normal people don’t
think they have chemistry with everyone nor do they begin a conversation to win
other people over. They consider sharing, enjoying debate, learning about another
person. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
If you take Ms. PU’s
advice you need to have your head examined. Suzy had the same mantra- winning
them over. That game plan bypasses authenticity. Mr. X, a creep, sought out all
the things she needed in a mate; a good substitute father, sex, and
intelligence. He had the smarts to placate her kids, eat her food, and take her
money. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
It is hard to be rejected. But two dates? Please send me that hydrocodone.
My head is beating . . . a 26-year-old writer who kvetched –via her blog- Little Black Blog-about
his break-up via text. Now Ms. Pu, you made a stink on national TV, I am sure
it added revenue to your blog and career as a memoir writer but you certainly
gave me pause (adding to my headache) because you are a self-centered, egoistical,
prima-donna, who could not take a little rejection. Actually, rejection is too big
a word. He was just not that interested in you. Get over it- it was two dates,
and no sex (at least that is what you say). <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
However, after hearing
you describe yourself as the kind of woman who gets a lot of attention from a
lot of men, I’m sure the word <i>rejection</i>
is not in your vocabulary. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
GROW UP Ms. PU!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
It was not a break-up!
A break up results after a serious run of dates! My daughter, your age, Emily,
says a break-up occurs after a commitment of monogamy and emotional commitment occurs
between two people. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<b>Are you nuts?</b> “He was friendly enough, but annoyingly and sloppily
drunk, which is why I offered my email address when he asked for my number.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
The day I’d offer my
number to a drunken slob at a bar is the day someone needs to hit me in the
head with a 2 x 4. They had a date, which turned dinner and champagne. “I kinda
have chemistry with pretty much everyone, because I really like talking to
people and winning over complete strangers.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<b>Are you kidding?</b> Well that’s your problem. Normal people don’t
think they have chemistry with everyone nor do they begin a conversation to win
other people over. They consider sharing, enjoying debate, learning about another
person. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
If you take Ms. PU’s
advice you need to have your head examined. Suzy had the same mantra- winning
them over. That game plan bypasses authenticity. Mr. X, a creep, sought out all
the things she needed in a mate; a good substitute father, sex, and
intelligence. He had the smarts to placate her kids, eat her food, and take her
money. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
It is hard to be rejected. But two dates? Please send me that hydrocodone.
My head is beating . . .<o:p></o:p></div>
David's wifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17468157675342425570noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5467334768781245423.post-75704472674966965132013-04-27T14:57:00.000-07:002013-04-27T14:57:35.156-07:00Holding out: How long should, would, could you wait before sex? If you are interested in a relationship, what should your strategy be? Hook up or Hold out?<br />
I don't care that some chick screwed her way to monogamy, I have a masters in statistics. After screwing hundreds of men, you are bound to get one sucker and HPV.<br />
<br />
My new read is Dan Slater's <i>Love in the Time of Algorithms</i>.<br />
<br />
It's a fascinating journalistic look at history of on line dating with some insights into some issues. And there are issues. Big ones. Worse is that everyone seems to have an opinion. Did I mention that my mentor was the master of the liking algorithm, Donn Byrne. So I think I know something. Here's a hint: they don't work on line. Most people can develop some similarity.<br />
<br />
I have five friends miserably failing right now. Besides having way too much choice, thinking you have so many options because there are thousands of good looking mates out there, on line daters are becoming way too choosy, choosing men and woman way out of their league. Then they fantasize about their imaginary relationship with this person through emails or chats, never realizing that this person has a list of their own of potential mates, and they also have overestimated how worthy they are.<br />
<br />
There was a time when men married to get reliable sex. No, I'm not bullshitting, there was a time when women didn't give it away for a wink, a flirt, a text message or a dinner. <br />
<br />
I have a male friend named "Don," the Don of sex. Every Friday, when he doesn't have a date, he winks at the woman that's not so good looking but not so unattractive. He looks for a woman less attractive than he thinks he is- and desperate. "Why isn't someone as nice as you out?" he writes her. He told me one night he never made it into the bar-she flashed her lights and they did the deed in the car. here is the worst part: Don is looking for love! He wants to find his soul mate! But with Vagina growing on trees, he's waylaid (I mean that pun) on his love journey. He's not alone, Dan Slater exposes the issue in his book. Dan Slater says that convenient sex discourages men form commitment and I agree. What we need id <b>e-Date-Etiquette-</b> or a refined set of rules for behaving. <br />
<br />
Helen Fisher did a mini study addressing this issue and although she is paid by chemistry, her results show that women are opting out of sex early on in the relationship. It's a smart move.<br />
<br />
Lesson: lower your standards in on line dating and not your pants. Match up--look for someone in your league. The Don's out there are ready to take full advantage of the desperate women <br />
<br />David's wifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17468157675342425570noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5467334768781245423.post-23414705456574351262013-03-12T08:34:00.000-07:002013-03-12T08:34:31.019-07:00Sheryl Sandberg, Lean In and Listen <br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>What Women REALLY Need . . . <o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><br /></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Sheryl Sandberg's book, Lean In . . .misses some valid points. It might be a good read for those of us who have social supports but not for the 50% who have only themselves to rely on. Lean In and ask for more work, for a raise, for more responsibility? </b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><br /></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Last
night, my youngest of six, Matthew, saw me working on the computer. "Mom," he said. "Can I make
dinner for you?" I smiled. But I'm grinning wider now—he's part of a new
generation of men and women who have taken on nontraditional roles without balking
and squawking. He's part of the solution,
groomed by my desire to earn a PhD in Psychology and have a career. Remember that old TV show, <i>Queen For a Day</i>? For you younger ones, women would compete for
the crown and the ermine cape. One winner
was woman whose house burned to the ground. She moved her entire family into
the backyard shed, wove beds out of pine boughs, gathered dandelion greens, and
fed them small game caught in a noose, fashioned out of an electrical cord. She won a barbecue grill for her glorious of multitasking. They took that show off the air, deeming it too
indignant to women. Well, they ought to bring
it back because I deserve that title—and I'm not alone. I want Martha Stewart herself
to crown me. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As
I wrote this and had a good laugh, my husband David poked his head out of my
computer and said, "What we really need is <i>King for a Day</i>." I
looked at my king, the poor guy whose mother garnished his plate and needed to
be reprogrammed by his wife-who-wanted- a-career, and knew there was a grain of
truth in what he said. There is our first
quandary—we need men or partners just as much as we need to meet our aspirations. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Our
second dilemma is what women want and need may not be the same thing. While my oxytocin-wired brain summoned babies
(I'm a mom to six), my intellectual side needed stimulation. Perhaps if I were back some 10,000 years ago
with my cave sisters I might have had some female company. I might have been debating, inventing some new
method of weaving rushes, or leaving my babes with a friend while I dug up some
fresh roots. Sadly in today's world, sisters,
mothers, grannies or friends are not there to reinforce our social needs—which <i>are</i> different from men's. We're wired for comradery and cooperation
rather than competition and contest. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Our
folly might be discarding those needs
and attempting to circumvent them. We're
also wired to worry. It might have
served our cave-sisters well but not us.
Thinking about raises and job opportunity when you have babies in daycare?
Ha! It's made all the more terrible by the fact
that we have little choice in the matter; we live in an economy where <i>not</i> working is some sort of shame. Most of us come home to waiting laundry piles,
and hungry men—not necessarily hungry for food.
To add insult to injury, we're expected to Martha-Stewart our lives in
our spare time. One year I carved twenty
five tiny pumpkins to hold the Thanksgiving soup, and that was before I
collected flora and fauna for the centerpieces.
No Betty-Croker-in-the-box for
our generation. Had Martha been born in the
late sixties, we might have been embroidering our bras, not burning them. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Have
a laugh now because the rest of it is poignantly sad. American women are among the most depressed
and stressed in the world. "Role-strain" is what we call it—and we
need to admit it before we try to tackle the problem. In the 1990's, a PhD student, teaching for
pennies, I was accused of breastfeeding my newborn in the classroom—by the male
chairman of the <i>Psychology Department</i>!
It was untrue, but such sentiments have
hardly gone away. The pull to "mother"
will not wane until the pull to "father" meets it with equal force. With men earning at least 20% more than us, the
tradeoffs are not in our favor. While many
European countries provide stipends to parents who need to parent, today's
woman faces a quandary; leave and parent, or stay and hold on to one's position. Yes, while that job might still be waiting,
chances are you'll lose seniority, accumulated six time, raises, and
respect. Women who leave for more than a
few weeks are castigated as the Benedict Arnolds of the workplace, their minds thought
lost in the world of diapers, bottles and teddy bears. I've had friends who've been on that cliff,
holding onto their positions with their fingernails as their eggs rotted. "I don't know when the <i>right time</i> is to get pregnant," said
my thirty- nine- year old executive friend.
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
No
wonder we take the crumbs we're offered, and don't lean in. We're caught between thinking we don't deserve
it or worrying that any added responsibilities to our pile might just <i>Jenga</i> that tower. The male patriarchy (yes, it's alive) is not
going to fess up to its complicity. And
it also means that most of our life-partners have to take on additional responsibilities.
Ours was a balancing act, dividing up
the chores, yet reserving time for one another, no matter what. This brings this conversation to a happy
note. When men take on that task, they
raise children who understand those roles. Those children will one day be executives,
CEO's, and wield the power to shift our strain, equally. <o:p></o:p></div>
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I
looked at my husband, the man who let that screaming baby suck on his nipple until
it was purple while I was taking my doctoral qualifying exams. I'm going to crown him <i>King For a Day</i>—tonight. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZXc1qnrxDyE_R_ivz0wXvNBLB9wRmj483oNxeMvqj3pcZt4uA8JNGWT171iHr5KKnqsPELGHCk4yPGvBzCNOp1e2qqyK0KznRMjcHl6OVnDs7mTxyxHNlcKeGFSSuSka8k-Y3Irf4r_Q/s1600/61329_1548890278882_4854942_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZXc1qnrxDyE_R_ivz0wXvNBLB9wRmj483oNxeMvqj3pcZt4uA8JNGWT171iHr5KKnqsPELGHCk4yPGvBzCNOp1e2qqyK0KznRMjcHl6OVnDs7mTxyxHNlcKeGFSSuSka8k-Y3Irf4r_Q/s320/61329_1548890278882_4854942_n.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Dawn Marlena Hopper, PhD <o:p></o:p></div>
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David's wifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17468157675342425570noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5467334768781245423.post-51936306716414499382013-03-01T19:23:00.000-08:002013-03-01T19:23:14.312-08:00What Do Men Want? <br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Today I met a friend for lunch with a copy of my book on men—a
book jammed packed with their love stories.
For one hour we discussed my ideas.
The woman at the next table felt my very words were an insult to her
ears. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
She went militant on me.
I tried to calm her. But when she
called me a crazy religious zealot and an affront to all women who fought for
women's rights I went "Gloria" on her. I lived in a women's commune in the mid-seventies! Burn my bra?
I cut a huge hole in the ass of my jeans and let my checks spill
out. I fought idiots at Planned Parenthood. This wasn't the first time I got that
reaction and it won't be the last. I
love men and because I love it doesn't negate the fact I love women. SO I'm reposting Dr. Helen Fisher's blog that
gets to the meat. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><br /></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>For centuries
Americans and people just about everywhere else, have believed a lot of things
about women that we now realize aren’t true.
Among them, the credos that a woman’s place is in the home and that
aging single women—long called spinsters—are sad misfits. Decades of marches, articles, books, law
suits and national, regional and local discussions have finally uprooted these
and many more wrong beliefs about women.
This national survey furthers that cause. Indeed, it shows that women seek more
independence in a partnership than men do.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><br /></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>But I have long
wanted to bust myriad myths about the other half of the human race–men. Single in America does it in spades. This national survey clearly shows that men are
just as eager to marry as women are; 33% of both sexes want to say “I do.” Moreover, men in every age group are more
eager than women to have children. Even
young men. Among those between ages 21
and 34, 51% of men want kids, while 46% of women yearn for young. Men are less picky too. Fewer men say it is important to find a partner of their own
ethnic background (20% of men vs 29% of
women said this is a “must have” or “very important”); and fewer say they want
someone of their own religion (17% of men vs 28% of women said this is a “must
have” or “very important”). Men are
also more likely to have experienced love at first sight, as well as open to
introducing a date to their parents sooner.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><br /></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Perhaps most
impressive: In a committed relationship,
men are less likely to say they need personal space (58% vs 77% of women); less
likely to want nights out with friends (23% vs 35% of women); less eager to own
their own bank account (47% vs 66% of women); and less likely to want to take a
vacation on their own (8% vs 12%).
Remarkably, men under age 45 are also more willing than older men and women to enter a committed
relationship with someone who has everything they were looking for in a
partner, but whom they do not find sexually attractive. And just as many men under 35 believe you can
stay married to the same person forever (84%). <a href="http://blog.match.com/2011/02/04/the-forgotten-sex-men/">http://blog.match.com/2011/02/04/the-forgotten-sex-men/</a><o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Sorry, we are not from other planets. Dr. Dawn Hopper<o:p></o:p></div>
David's wifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17468157675342425570noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5467334768781245423.post-8297913618346101252013-02-12T10:37:00.000-08:002013-02-12T10:37:55.043-08:00Desperation on Line: For Women Only!<br />
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpFirst">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Regarding my last post-- It took another few mistakes and
some time alone for my dear friend to settle down that desperation cue. Unless you are in an exclusive relationship
avoid these cues men can easily pick up on.
These go for online dating- before you meet. The first vibe a men and women center on is the picture. That's a fact. Neither of you would be in any contact unless you found each other attractive-based on that picture. Now begins that dance, the one of emails, texts or phone chat- before the meeting. It's ass backwards. The meeting can throw it all off. But that's another story. You see, when we get that ping, the email, the message it charges up the reward centers of our cortex like a pin-ball machine. All the "what-if's" rage. Anticipation can lead to desperation. Here are the signs: </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpFirst">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpFirst">
</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin-left: 1in; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Calling,
emailing, or texting way too much, always answering their texts or responses
quickly. Your words should equal his
minus a few. In other words answer his
texts with the same amount of words no more.
You should NEVER initiate any texts or communication unless it is to
cancel a date. Don't play the "I accidentally texted you." ploy. Men like what they can't
have and what is unavailable. I've seen
this undermine many women. Men have lay-dar, the ability to sniff out a desperate woman who'll have sex with them- no strings attached. By the way 57% of men have sex on the first date. It better not be you! I swear I'll crawl through the Internet to slap you with the stupid stick. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 1in; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Speaking
about texts, or phone calls, limit them to a time length-as in a few weeks. . Catfishing and pretext relationships are
accomplished through hooking the other person and leading them on. It's also a method that is left for losers-
what I mean by that is once someone is wooing their first choice, they like to
keep other fish hanging on their lines. A back up plan. My cousin THE DON of DATING does this. He racks them up like beer in the cooler. Don't be the back-up. Refuse the role. You need to meet as soon as possible. Meeting changes the dynamic- dramatically. Give it no more than two weeks. "What?" you are saying. Yes- two weeks. If he can't meet you face to face you simply
ask when he <i>will </i>be available and
suggest that he contact you then. If you
are afraid you'll lose him by having a boundary, question your
desperation. By the way there are a hundred reasons why
you should not enter a pretext relationhip.
That's another blog. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 1in; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> When he calls you don't answer so quickly. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 1in; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Unless
you have met do not sit on the phone for a long period of time. Your mind will tend to weave itself a fantasy
that might not be as good as the real thing. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 1in; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Never
ever allow any sexual conversation to occur. That will get the stupid stick too. You can make money for doing that shit- tell him to go go call 1800jerkoff. Hang up if he begins any sex dialogue. By the way here's the line (from THE DON)...So what are you doing now? He'll ask this at night when you're laying in bed. "I'm sitting next to my brother, the cop, watching TV. Don't fall for the "What are you wearing?" either. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 1in; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Never
reveal any personal dilemma's nor allow him to.
Catfishing requires that the hook reveal some common dilemma they both
face. Anyway, it's not a good sign if he
or you complain about facets of your life before you even met. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 1in; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Never
ever say that you'll cancel plans so you can meet him. "Oh, I have a wedding to go to but I
think I'll just cancel that so we can meet!" Are you crazy? Only desperate women will cancel
an event to meet a man. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 1in; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Desperate
women give him every contact bit of information, the home phone, emails, work
number. Nix that.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 1in; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Do
not go over your dating history with him.
It's none of his business and if he asks, having never met you, he is a
control freak or he's fishing to see what a desperate bottom sucker you are. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 1in; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">NEVER
berate your ex. Women who are still
frothing over a past love signal desperate.
They are basically saying they need to be preoccupied by a new man. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 1in; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Never
tell him when your last relationship ended.
"Oh, I broke up with my boyfriend last week." You are telling him that you cannot stand to
be be alone for seven f---king days. Now
that is desperate. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 1in; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Keep
you tone of voice light and happy. Please
don't make sexy talk or cutesy talk. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 1in; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Never
ever tell a man you feel connected to them unless you have been seeing them for
some time. Yes, there are women who begin
the phone and texting relationship and actually tell men that they feel a
connection. To what? You only have some pictures and some words- incidentally
words that are designed to entice you. That's what we do, we put our best foot
forward and seldom tell people about the job we just were fired form, our debts. . you get it. You can't connect to someone you don't know-
if you think you can, get some help. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 1in; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; text-indent: -0.25in;">Never
discuss the future with a man you have not met!
I had a friend who asked a man to consider going on a trip with her, a
trip I was going on—and they had never met! </span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin-left: 1in; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin-left: 1in; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">This is important. </span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Many men derive a satisfaction from just the phone connection- and I'm not talking about sex. Instead of having a real relationship they think they can connect to others and form a false belief that they are having dating and having a connection when they twiddle their fingers on a keyboard, or on that other thing,
the one between their legs.</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"> </span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">That might
be all they need to be satisfied for a few hours.</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin-left: 1in; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin-left: 1in; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">In addition I will share with you one other point. For many men the texting allows some comfort with the initial period of 'getting to know someone'. There are great men out there but there are a lot of pussy hounds too. men know that women are ultimately the choosers. In other words you are the gatekeeper of your vagina. The pressure to woo and win is daunting for most men. I tell you to keep is short, friendly and sweet for another reason--don't lead him on. If you met before you construct some crazy fantasy (which happens) the less chance you'll bruise an ego. In the real dating world we first meet and <i>then</i> find common ground. That is the way nature intended. That's why you need to know my rules- they are based on our nature- and science. </span></div>
<br />David's wifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17468157675342425570noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5467334768781245423.post-33993002228126586612013-02-09T10:38:00.000-08:002013-02-09T10:38:20.352-08:00Dr. Dawn: On line dating rules and Boundaries <br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Boundaries. <o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><u>Rule number
one. The most sacred rule of all:
boundaries. You need boundaries. Without them you compromise yourself, values and
worse you send out the signal of DESPERATION. <o:p></o:p></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Women appear to have much more <b>desperation</b> when looking for love than
men. If there is any cue that can bite
you, it's being desperate. Nothing men
like more than a <u>desperate</u> woman and a woman with low self-esteem. It attracts the worst. There are blog sites
that train men how to find a desperate woman out there. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi;">Desperation can bring out the worst. It leads us to wear the too tight dress,
revealing too much cleavage, coming off to sexual and nixing the chance to find
that commitment switch. Being the girl
next-door is probably the most powerful tactic you can take in finding Mr.
Right. One of the biggest mistakes women
make is in amping up their sexuability too soon. Good men want wholesome women who will be
fabulously sexual with them and only them. If you don't agree go into therapy
or become an escort. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Let me tell you about what my
friend Tara did. She is probably one of
the most beautiful women I know. She had
one goal: to find love. For the next year I watched her fumble and bumble her
quest with at least twenty different guys.
For the sake of parsimony I'll narrow them down—I want you to see how
attachment style feeds off of desperation.
It you looked up that word in the dictionary her face would have been
plastered to it. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> At
the time of her divorce I was a teaching at a small college and I introduced
her to Rob, a clam handsome divorced father of two. I knew him well, he came from a wonderful
family and had strong values and was looking for exactly what she was; a loving
partner to spend the rest of his life with.
He was secure, came from a close knit family and they hit it off. She'd call me each day and tell me of their
wonderful conversations and how quickly they found shared interests and that
connection. But a months into their connection
I sensed something was wrong. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> Driving some 60 miles each way to
his house, she was there every day and had practically moved in. "Don't
you think you're moving too fast," I asked her. She thought nothing of it and waylaid my
fears. But soon after he called me to
tell me that he had to cool it all off.
"She's a great woman, but she is too over powering. I think she needs time to figure out what she
wants," he said to me. The next
weeks were spent weeping into my pillows and <i>accidentally</i> texting him. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> Her
next plan was on-line dating. After
hundreds of profiles she found Barry, he looked good, had a great job and
relayed that he was seeking a long-term relationship. Barry however was our dismissive type; he was
already forty and had never been married. All his vibes told me he lived to fly
solo and had little need for a real relationhip—one that required real
interaction—because for the next weeks they texted compulsively, chatted on the
phone all night and there was still no meeting.
I had no doubt he was a pretexter- my term for those people who form
on-line attachments and never move beyond the surreal world of texting and
sexting because it satisfies them.
Finally she wrangled a meeting out of him. When she stopped over before her date I was
shocked. She stood in a revealing dress,
too blond, too overdone and raged desperateness. So can you guess what
happened? His picture didn't say that
his head was far too puny for his body, that he had a weak chin and small
female-like hands. Nor did it say I hate
desperate women. Before they even
ordered the entrée he fled the scene. We
had another week of crying and self-loathing.
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> Even
approaching that desperation thing was impossible. Next was Mr. Preoccupied—Nate. The desperate
meets the desperate. Nate was handsome
and giving and soon I named him Mr. Velcro.
That name—preoccupied—it means they are preoccupied with getting dumped.
When you are afraid to lose in the game of love, you tend to do one thing; wind
your way into that target's life.
He whined and wined her—practically moving into her house. He had no
career to speak of other than worshiping the various women he had loved, or
professed to have love. I listened to his
syrupy sweet anthems each night, and watched her walks around my house like a
deranged Fellini character, in a bra and thong. I wanted to vomit. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> <i>Way
too fast</i> is how these relationships work because desperation feeds off other
desperation. It took some shocking
realities to lift the veil; he was an alcoholic, had a criminal record, was
living off his mother's credit card, had no real job aspirations and the house
he supposedly lived in? At forty, he
had 8 college aged roommates. Her puppy
dog turned into a monster. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> <b> Now
that we've described it, my next blog will detail the signs. </b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">In the meantime tell yourself you
are worthy, he needs to prove himself- not the other way around. Men need to compete, to woo and to work for
our love. THAT IS SCIENCE my dears. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Anything worth having is worth
working for- the principle of effort justification. Google that !
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
David's wifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17468157675342425570noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5467334768781245423.post-47058448621311161542013-02-03T10:31:00.000-08:002013-02-03T10:31:30.196-08:00ONLINE DATING: Ok cupid, make me a match with those plenty of fish over fifty or Christian Mingle me with eharmony for a Jdate with chemistry. Yahoo! <br />
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpFirst">
<b>ONLINE DATING: Ok cupid, make me a match with those plenty of fish over
fifty or Christian Mingle me with eharmony for a Jdate with chemistry.
Yahoo! <o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpFirst">
<b><br /></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<b>So confusing! The scientific truth is that there is little reliable research. I just read a book review where some woman conducted her own experiment and delivers her say on the matter, without any scientific reasoning behind her common sense rules. What she did was to dupe 90 women into thinking they were dating a man, profiles she created. She <i>catfished </i>them all and her lack of ethics in doing this makes me question anything she might say. </b></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<b><br /></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: arial; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px;"><i>"I also wanted to learn everything I could about my competition. So I created profiles of 10 male archetypes and spent a month as these men, interacting with 96 women, researching their methods and scraping data from their profiles."</i> From </span><b>http://www.cnn.com/2013/01/22/living/online-dating-amy-webb/index.html </b><em style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: arial; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">"<a href="http://www.datalovestory.com/" style="border: 0px; color: #004276; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: initial; vertical-align: baseline;" target="_blank">Data, A Love Story: How I Gamed Online Dating To Meet My Match</a>," By Amy Webb, to be published January 31 by Dutton.</em></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<b><br /></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
OMG, are you kidding? I've got a lot to say about algorithms used by dating sites. Unfortunately dating-sites are not keen on giving anyone access to what they know. But there are scientists in Universities, real ones, who number crunch and pick through the BS. In the next series of articles I'm going to tell you the truth. I only hope those women she catfished come forward and those sites investigate. Anyone could be out therecould be pulling an "Amy." </div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<b><br /></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<b><br /></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<b>I'll give you the second rule: <u>Identify the person</u>. Try to date people in your area. Google their names. If you don't see their names anywhere, be suspicious. If you find a job listing, call, ask for them and listen to their voice- just to make sure of their gender. Speaking about gender try Gender Genie on Google, you paste some interaction in and they spit out the gender of the writer. </b></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<b>If you cannot dig up this person on the internet - don't go on. More about this later but this leads to the best way to identify--meet as soon as possible. </b></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<b><br /></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<b>The first rule? <u>Have boundaries. </u> That means getting rid of <i>desperation</i>, that is your worst enemy and perhaps the most difficult to tackle. Keep on dating! Dr. Dawn Hopper </b></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<b><br /></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"> </span><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"> </span></div>
David's wifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17468157675342425570noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5467334768781245423.post-2840845244751833602013-01-26T18:08:00.001-08:002013-01-27T20:37:48.096-08:00Are MAN-TIED? Manti T'eo and Lennya Kekua—it's not so unusual . . . In online dating? Are you kidding? <b style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', 'Bitstream Charter', Times, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px;">Are You MAN-TIED? Manti T'eo and Lennya Kekua—it's not so unusual . . . In online dating? Are you kidding? </b><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
"Manti Te'o
acknowledged to ABC's Katie Couric that he maintained the illusion of his dead
girlfriend in the weeks after he received a call claiming that Lennay Kekua and
her death were hoaxes,"<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
according to a CNN
article. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<a href="http://www.cnn.com/2013/01/23/us/teo-hoax-abc/index.html">http://www.cnn.com/2013/01/23/us/teo-hoax-abc/index.html</a>"</div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
Of course, this could
never happen to you, right? WRONG! Every
time you are ONLINE led on by someone who's connecting with you, texting,
calling, and causing you to move into high hopes and big expectations, you're re
MAN-TIED. Oh how our imagination works! It's supposed to when we want to fall in love.<br />
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
Take Kate. Educated, good-looking, independent woman
friend. Mr. X responds to her
profile. They appear to hit it off. Kate has
been looking for MR. #1 for a while. Lots of dead ends, goofballs, idiots,
liars and some rebuffs. Some desperation. She's quite happy when this one seems on be on
track. But Logical Kate knows logically it's
nothing more than a connection. What she
doesn't know that she'd more delighted than she may know. Her brain is in need
of a good boost of happy neurotransmitters. They rush out and make her happy
but they are not done with her. Her
reward center, the one that is connected to love, sex and desire is switching
on. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
Kate and Mr. X begin
texting one another. Back and forth they
bat cute comments and quips. "We're
so much alike," she says to me at dinner. While she is thinking she might have just
discovered her other half, I want to bleat, "What do you except? Do you think he'll tell you he doesn’t like
romantic flicks? <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
He's in Panama digging
the canal and they can't yet meet. He's
collecting insects for a research project.
He doesn't like the phone. Her
comment, "He's an intellect." My thoughts? Can't make himself available, travels a lot and
bugs, the bug thing is a turn off. "Does
he know that you call the exterminator for fruit flies?"<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
Three weeks go by and
she has callouses on the finger tips. X is wonderful, considerate, and funny. She's imagining his home, the smell of the
blueberry pancakes she knows he's cooking.
She pulls up his profile and tells me to read a line she's intrigued by.
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<i>"I like the ordinary, I find consolation in the ordinary events of
the day, a butterfly on a flower, the morning dew on a blade of grass—oh war is
not me!"<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
"He's deep; he
doesn't seem to need a lot to make him happy." Here is what I hear. Ordinary.
Who doesn't appreciate the simple things? And who the hell would say "I like the
complicated things in life. And that war
thing? Where did that come from? Day by day imaginary boyfriend grows larger
than life and they're imaginarily traipsing through her mind and imagination. Suddenly
Walt Whitman-Alan Ginsburg is going on hikes with her; she'll bring brie and
wine. He likes Pinot Noir. "I'm going to take X to the nature conservatory,
what do you think? "There's the new
art exhibit in town, German Expressionism.
I felt like Munch's <i>The Scream</i>,
and I did. "This guy isn't real—you've
never met him!" <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
It's week four. Suddenly X's opinions matter. "So today, X, said that there is going
to be a wheat shortage in Italy and the price of pasta will soar." as a consummate Italian, normally a
pasta-world-crisis would pull me out of a deep sleep. I look at her. "Since when is X a part of
your opinions? <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
"You know, we’ve been
talking for over a month. It's like we've
been on thirty dates."<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
"If you had really
been on thirty, dates, made it to thirty dates, you'd be having great sex,
wonderful meals, holding hands and spooning as you planned moving-in, a honeymoon
or a vacation. You'd know his family,
kids, and all his <i>nuances</i>. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
Nuances? Yes, the shit that can make it our break
it. The throat clearing, nasal spray he
just have to use—and God forbid the wandering eye. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
'Wandering eye?"<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
"My friend Bunny
dated a guy with wandering eye. She couldn't tell from the camera shot, his eye
had a three second fix point but then it would move off to the side. She had to
take Dramamine just to follow his conversations. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
"Whew, you got me worried."
Said Kate. "I was thinking about the <i>other
</i>wandering eye, you know the kind of guy who can't focus on you and as
you're talking, he looks off and follows some bouncing ass across the room. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
"Oh, he had that
too, In fact I think that's how got it—eye torsion, he was the worst cheat." <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
Week five. Imaginary boyfriend is stalled in the
amazon. No contact for three days. I was
waiting for him the send her the ransom note looking for money. I packed her and her vodka up and we went to
my house for the weekend. An artic storm hit and the power went out. She sat in my snowbound car charging the
phone and waited for her imaginary boyfriend to respond. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
"I sent him five
texts today and he hasn't answered! Do
you think that's too many? I mean after all he could be kidnapped, he could be
sick, I'm just concerned." <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
"No you're
desperate." <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<i>My friend was man-tied</i>. Her
emotions were <i>Shanghaied.</i> It could have been deliberate; he could have
been pranking her. Or he could have been
living out a pseud relationship just to have semi-phone sex and a feeling he
was really dating. Dabble-dating, a
form of flirting. Anytime anyone amps up
your amorous expectations and doesn't come through you are <i>Mantied.</i> <i>T'o-ed</i>.
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<b>RULE: Keep texts and emails brief, unemotional, light and to the
point. Unless you want an imaginary friend,
you need to meet. If they can't, you ask
them when they think they will be back from Mount Everest, the golf tour, digging
in Egypt and say, "<u>I will contact you again when you are free."</u> Don't stray.
Don't be weak. Don't succumb to
keeping even a light contact.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<b> </b>Why would you do that-desperation? You think he'll find another love if you snap
the chord. Well, consider this a
test. A serious guy will want to get
down to business sooner than later. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
Did friend ever meet
him? Yes. After months imaginary boyfriend showed
up. He had a voice like Mr. Rogers. Yes, <i>the</i>
Mr. Rogers. The man with the Kids TV
show. And he was wearing a cardigan. <o:p></o:p></div>
David's wifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17468157675342425570noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5467334768781245423.post-66230441089224558462012-10-29T17:01:00.000-07:002012-10-29T17:01:24.737-07:00Love and Hurricans and Tropical Storms. Sandy is coming I<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">t was November
9, 1965 when the <strong>black-out</strong> happened.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> No storm, just no power and nine months later, babies. </span>The legend
was published in a series of three articles in the New York Times where doctors reported that they saw an increased
birth rate after that week of hell.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Five years later it was
debunked by love-skeptic, <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>J. Richard
Udry, who claimed he saw no statistical surge in screaming women in laboring. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> He was </span>so wrong.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It takes up to one year to get an egg and
sperm to shake hands.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> He forgot that back then t</span>here was birth
control.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know—I babysat plenty of
people who had condoms in their nightstands, making a side business of harvesting their crop—it was better
than weed. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I lived in a time where you
might have to produce a marriage license or have your parents phoned if you
tried to purchase one of those things.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But
that's another story.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></span><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Some twenty
years ago there was the October snow fiasco.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Then I
lived through <strong>Irene.</strong><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Hubby didn't take
it seriously so we never prepared. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>By
the time we realized this huff-and puff might be true, we had to battle torrents
of rain to the local <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Piggly-Wiggly.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No candles left I was left to use my Jewish-Italian-Hispanic
resources—I <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">knew</i> the international aisle.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Amidst the Kosher soups, the bags of beans
and boxes of pasta my hands knew where to reach,<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Rokeach
and Manischewitz Yahrzeit candles—to honor the dead, then Maria Mother of God greeted me between the
Allessi Risotto and Colavita olive oil, followed by San Lazaro nesting next to the rice and <em>Amanida Ajo Blanco</em>- a
Spanish white garlic.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I grabbed that garlic along with
the tall yellow glass candles.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A hundred
dollars later I had light.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That's when I
learned what the term WATT meant: o<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">ne </span>candle equals one watt, unless they are kosher
—those ingenious Jews know that <em>white </em>wax reflects more than yellow, blue,
green or red.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Leave it to them to come
up with a perfect small candle that lasts 24 hours and in the end gives you a
shot glass. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;">T</span>hen it hit.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We were trapped by the private road that showed us what being cut off from the world was <em>really</em> like. Crazed with e-withdrawal, no power,
cooking formerly frozen steaks on the barbi in the garage, eating canned goods
I thought were only good enough for the poor, re-reading dog-eared novels, watching
my Benz float away, my roof come off, crapping on a dry-wall bucket, drinking
water from my tub, I began to go crazy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Hubby
was worse—there were no video games, baseball, football and Arnold Schwarzenegger
movies to capture his attention.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">I</span></span></span><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> did what and any normal person
would.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Using the grill <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I made a chicken dish using the risotto, an entire head of parsley and
Spanish garlic I met earlier.*<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I broke out
the whiskey and wine, followed by the three year old weed found in my kid's knapsack.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>OMG, weed is so much more potent nowadays.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We lit the fireplace and hunted down the old
scrabble game now missing half the tiles. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I managed to place "frenzy" in my first
hand.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He got "now" off my N. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I responded with "you" leaning off
his Y.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And then he placed
"uck" beneath my F.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I was stunned, which is a strange perception
when you're high.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Do you know it?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It's when half your brain is saying "wow
man, isn’t this cool," and the other side is panicked and screaming,
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>"OMG-you shouldn't have smoked this
shit."<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Suddenly I realized why I gave
up on pot.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But David came to my
rescue.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He tenderly kissed my mouth and
smiled, revealing his parsley checkerboarded teeth--confirmation that I was a <u>great</u> cook. What more could Jewish, Italian and Spanish woman want? So with San Lorenzo summoning his power
of everlasting endurance, The Virgin Mother smiling, and Jewish spirits dancing
on the walls, I slowly settled on that scrabble board and did what Dr. Urdry
said was a myth.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> An hour later, my ample </span>ass embedded
with tiles that spelled frenzy, now, and fuck I was tempted make the words "fun," "funky," "zen," and "rock." <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Now it's Sandy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> Again, he </span>did the same thing- poo-pooed the
storm.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But not me. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After buttoning up our Woodstock house I assembled
a horde of saints and Jews to back me up, with some wine.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The glass and wax is gleaming on my kitchen
island, waiting for the power to go and the power to come—to learn again what's
important.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">Yes I'm scared. But the scrabbled cubes are lost and the only letter I might assemble are on keys! So write. </span></span></span><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><a href="mailto:dawnmhopper@gmail.com">dawnmhopper@gmail.com</a> </span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span></span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">* Lemon-garlic Chicken- (Really Italian)<o:p></o:p></span></span></b></div>
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I should
know, I live in Italy half the year. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Don't get scared by the ingredients.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>First,
slowly begin to sauté a lot of chopped garlic (the whole thing head) <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>in olive oil, making sure you don't burn
it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Add an entire bunch of chopped up parsley.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That parsley will actually fry and transform
into something you never thought parsley could be. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(Think of great sex with a really nice man). <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The rule is that you don't want to burn the
garlic or the parsley. Set this aside. <o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Now you need
the chicken.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You can make this recipe
with any kind of chicken.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If it's boneless
breasts, salt and flour lightly, it in olive oil and butter. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Pieces can follow the same rule.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After they are browned, put the chicken in a
baking dish, followed by the garlic-parsley mix and squeeze a lemon over all of
it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Bake at @350 until you are sure that
chicken is done.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Boneless breasts are
done very quickly. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Cook risotto or pasta
and top it with our garlic-chicken.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Now
top the entire dish with a ton of grated Romano cheese.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Make sure your lips are olive-oiled <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>and you have plenty of parsley in between your
teeth as you kiss.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My husband has fished
out that green for me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span>David's wifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17468157675342425570noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5467334768781245423.post-79580959012824951672012-10-26T19:25:00.000-07:002012-10-26T19:25:00.834-07:00Are You Fucking Kidding? Top sex blog sites. <a href="http://www.invesp.com/blog-rank/Sex">http://www.invesp.com/blog-rank/Sex</a><br />
<br />
The top fifty sex and (supposedly love sites) <br />
I took a tour with a person who saw merit in my blog and took it on without $$$. Unsophisticated I might be in the settings and all the trapping, this person is a maven of blogging. So here we go on a tour. OMG. Here I am, from the generation that practically invented sex, with a PhD, and I am ...searching for a word beyond mortified..stunned. <br />
<br />
It was sik, Sick, shichh. <br />
Are you <em>fucking</em> kidding me? <br />
Up the ass with a hairbrush?<br />
In a taxi with a bum? <br />
Taking a hose up your ass? <br />
Letting strange men into your vagina? (It will never work) <br />
Citing the characteristics that make a woman easy (you are wrong) <br />
Trying to make that women want you more with tongue flicking? (Try being romantic and KIND) <br />
Like to fuck strangers? (You need a cortical restructuring-maybe a lobotomy) <br />
<br />
The sad truth is sadder than I could imagine. Sex is nothing without some human connection. I don't care if you are gay, transgendered or bi--it is a sacred act between two individuals who have a sense, even a small sense of caring between one another. Otherwise you don't qualify as an animal. They have hormones and a brain that guides them. What do you have?<br />
<br />
<a href="http://sexinthepublicsquare.org/">http://sexinthepublicsquare.org/</a> you are boss! <br />
<br />
kudos to <a href="http://shine.yahoo.com/love-sex/">http://shine.yahoo.com/love-sex/</a><br />
<br />
you present a wonderful debate. <br />
<br />
<br />
Here are the top fifty. I want to mostly vomit. If you think i am incorrect- please blog me. I'm a critical thinker and open to change. <br />
<h2>
Sex Blogs: The ultimate rank</h2>
<div align="center">
<table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0"><tbody>
<tr><td class="topblogs_bg-heading_hash">#</td><td class="topblogs_bg-heading_title">Blog Title</td><td class="topblogs_bg-heading_siteicon"><img alt="RSS" border="0" height="17" src="http://www.invesp.com/components/com_rating/images/icon_rss.gif" style="cursor: pointer;" width="17" /></td><td class="topblogs_bg-heading_siteicon"><img border="0" height="21" src="http://www.invesp.com/components/com_rating/images/icon_compete.gif" style="cursor: pointer;" width="21" /></td><td class="topblogs_bg-heading_siteicon"><img height="16" src="http://www.invesp.com/components/com_rating/images/icon_alxea.gif" style="cursor: pointer;" width="16" /></td><td class="topblogs_bg-heading_siteicon"><img height="16" src="http://www.invesp.com/components/com_rating/images/icon_bing.png" style="cursor: pointer;" width="16" /></td><!-- <td class="topblogs_bg-heading_siteicon"><img src="/components/com_rating/images/icon_tech.gif" width="16" height="15" /></td> --><td class="topblogs_bg-heading_siteicon"><img height="16" src="http://www.invesp.com/components/com_rating/images/icon_google.gif" style="cursor: pointer;" width="16" /></td><td class="topblogs_bg-heading_siteicon">RSS</td><td class="topblogs_bg-heading_score"><label style="cursor: pointer;">Site Score</label></td><td class="topblogs_bg-heading_budge">Badge</td></tr>
<input id="sorting_by" name="sorting_by" type="hidden" value="last_calculated" /><input id="sort_order" name="sort_order" type="hidden" value="desc" /></tbody><div align="center">
</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0"><div align="center">
</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0"><tbody><!--
<tr><td colspan="3"> </td></tr>
-->
<tr><td class="topblogs_bg-content_hash">1st</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_title"><a href="http://www.askdanandjennifer.com/" target="_blank">Ask Dan and Jennifer</a></td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon2" style="font-size: 12px;">561</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">31,125</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">125,108</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">13</td><!-- <td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size:12px">n/a</td> --><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">5</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon"><a href="http://feeds.askdanandjennifer.com/AskDanAndJennifer/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"><img alt="rss" border="0" height="17" src="http://www.invesp.com/components/com_rating/images/icon_rss.gif" width="17" /></a></td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_score" style="font-size: 12px;">100</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_budge"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/null" style="cursor: pointer;"><img alt="100" src="http://www.invesp.com/components/com_rating/images/budge_small.gif" /></a></td><!--<td class="topblogs_bg-content_budge2">1st </td> --></tr>
<tr><td class="topblogs_bg-content_hash">2nd</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_title"><a href="http://www.verysmartbrothas.com/" target="_blank">Very Smart Brothas</a></td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon2" style="font-size: 12px;">3,802</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">149,130</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">232,606</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">12</td><!-- <td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size:12px">n/a</td> --><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">5</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon"><a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/verysmartbrothas" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"><img alt="rss" border="0" height="17" src="http://www.invesp.com/components/com_rating/images/icon_rss.gif" width="17" /></a></td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_score" style="font-size: 12px;">99.83</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_budge"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/null" style="cursor: pointer;"><img alt="100" src="http://www.invesp.com/components/com_rating/images/budge_small.gif" /></a></td><!--<td class="topblogs_bg-content_budge2">2nd </td> --></tr>
<tr><td class="topblogs_bg-content_hash">3rd</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_title"><a href="http://susiebright.blogs.com/susie_brights_journal_/" target="_blank">Susie Brights Journal</a></td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon2" style="font-size: 12px;">3,408</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">n/a</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">n/a</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">12</td><!-- <td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size:12px">n/a</td> --><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">6</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon"><a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/SusieBrightsJournal" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"><img alt="rss" border="0" height="17" src="http://www.invesp.com/components/com_rating/images/icon_rss.gif" width="17" /></a></td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_score" style="font-size: 12px;">98.4</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_budge"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/null" style="cursor: pointer;"><img alt="100" src="http://www.invesp.com/components/com_rating/images/budge_small.gif" /></a></td><!--<td class="topblogs_bg-content_budge2">3rd </td> --></tr>
<tr><td class="topblogs_bg-content_hash">4th</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_title"><a href="http://dangerouslilly.com/" target="_blank">This Could Be Dangerous...</a></td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon2" style="font-size: 12px;">1,277</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">391,574</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">330,780</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">6</td><!-- <td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size:12px">n/a</td> --><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">3</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon"><a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/dangerouslilly/KBjH" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"><img alt="rss" border="0" height="17" src="http://www.invesp.com/components/com_rating/images/icon_rss.gif" width="17" /></a></td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_score" style="font-size: 12px;">97.91</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_budge"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/null" style="cursor: pointer;"><img alt="100" src="http://www.invesp.com/components/com_rating/images/budge_small.gif" /></a></td><!--<td class="topblogs_bg-content_budge2">4th </td> --></tr>
<tr><td class="topblogs_bg-content_hash">5th</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_title"><a href="http://www.heyepiphora.com/" target="_blank">Hey Epiphora</a></td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon2" style="font-size: 12px;">1,880</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">574,806</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">200,427</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">7</td><!-- <td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size:12px">n/a</td> --><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">3</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon"><a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/heyepiphora" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"><img alt="rss" border="0" height="17" src="http://www.invesp.com/components/com_rating/images/icon_rss.gif" width="17" /></a></td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_score" style="font-size: 12px;">97.81</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_budge"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/null" style="cursor: pointer;"><img alt="100" src="http://www.invesp.com/components/com_rating/images/budge_small.gif" /></a></td><!--<td class="topblogs_bg-content_budge2">5th </td> --></tr>
<tr><td class="topblogs_bg-content_hash">6th</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_title"><a href="http://podcasts.thestranger.com/savagelove/" target="_blank">Savage Love Podcast</a></td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon2" style="font-size: 12px;">28,831</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">n/a</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">n/a</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">1</td><!-- <td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size:12px">n/a</td> --><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">6</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon"><a href="http://feeds.thestranger.com/stranger/savage" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"><img alt="rss" border="0" height="17" src="http://www.invesp.com/components/com_rating/images/icon_rss.gif" width="17" /></a></td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_score" style="font-size: 12px;">97.78</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_budge"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/null" style="cursor: pointer;"><img alt="100" src="http://www.invesp.com/components/com_rating/images/budge_small.gif" /></a></td><!--<td class="topblogs_bg-content_budge2">6th </td> --></tr>
<tr><td class="topblogs_bg-content_hash">7th</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_title"><a href="http://dick-n-jane.com/" target="_blank">Dick-n-Jane</a></td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon2" style="font-size: 12px;">540</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">75,485</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">206,183</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">15</td><!-- <td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size:12px">n/a</td> --><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">3</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon"><a href="http://www.dick-n-jane.com/feeds/posts/default" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"><img alt="rss" border="0" height="17" src="http://www.invesp.com/components/com_rating/images/icon_rss.gif" width="17" /></a></td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_score" style="font-size: 12px;">97.05</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_budge"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/null" style="cursor: pointer;"><img alt="100" src="http://www.invesp.com/components/com_rating/images/budge_small.gif" /></a></td><!--<td class="topblogs_bg-content_budge2">7th </td> --></tr>
<tr><td class="topblogs_bg-content_hash">8th</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_title"><a href="http://sexandtheivy.com/" target="_blank">Sex and the Ivy</a></td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon2" style="font-size: 12px;">1,038</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">1,250,555</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">1,411,867</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">7</td><!-- <td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size:12px">n/a</td> --><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">4</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon"><a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/SexAndTheIvy" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"><img alt="rss" border="0" height="17" src="http://www.invesp.com/components/com_rating/images/icon_rss.gif" width="17" /></a></td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_score" style="font-size: 12px;">96.64</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_budge"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/null" style="cursor: pointer;"><img alt="100" src="http://www.invesp.com/components/com_rating/images/budge_small.gif" /></a></td><!--<td class="topblogs_bg-content_budge2">8th </td> --></tr>
<tr><td class="topblogs_bg-content_hash">9th</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_title"><a href="http://www.tinynibbles.com/" target="_blank">violet blue ® :: open source sex</a></td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon2" style="font-size: 12px;">n/a</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">71,483</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">148,327</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">12</td><!-- <td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size:12px">n/a</td> --><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">5</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon"><a href="http://www.tinynibbles.com/feed" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"><img alt="rss" border="0" height="17" src="http://www.invesp.com/components/com_rating/images/icon_rss.gif" width="17" /></a></td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_score" style="font-size: 12px;">96.01</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_budge"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/null" style="cursor: pointer;"><img alt="100" src="http://www.invesp.com/components/com_rating/images/budge_small.gif" /></a></td><!--<td class="topblogs_bg-content_budge2">9th </td> --></tr>
<tr><td class="topblogs_bg-content_hash">10th</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_title"><a href="http://pleasurists.com/" target="_blank">Pleasurists</a></td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon2" style="font-size: 12px;">377</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">1,984,101</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">482,273</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">12</td><!-- <td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size:12px">n/a</td> --><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">3</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon"><a href="http://feeds2.feedburner.com/pleasurists" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"><img alt="rss" border="0" height="17" src="http://www.invesp.com/components/com_rating/images/icon_rss.gif" width="17" /></a></td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_score" style="font-size: 12px;">95.85</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_budge"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/null" style="cursor: pointer;"><img alt="100" src="http://www.invesp.com/components/com_rating/images/budge_small.gif" /></a></td><!--<td class="topblogs_bg-content_budge2">10th </td> --></tr>
<tr><td class="topblogs_bg-content_hash">11th</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_title"><a href="http://curvaceousdee.com/" target="_blank">Curvaceous Dee</a></td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon2" style="font-size: 12px;">727</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">1,290,762</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">1,032,027</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">3</td><!-- <td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size:12px">n/a</td> --><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">3</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon"><a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/CurvaceousDee" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"><img alt="rss" border="0" height="17" src="http://www.invesp.com/components/com_rating/images/icon_rss.gif" width="17" /></a></td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_score" style="font-size: 12px;">95.83</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_budge"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/null" style="cursor: pointer;"><img alt="100" src="http://www.invesp.com/components/com_rating/images/budge_small.gif" /></a></td><!--<td class="topblogs_bg-content_budge2">11th </td> --></tr>
<tr><td class="topblogs_bg-content_hash">12th</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_title"><a href="http://elustsexblogs.com/" target="_blank">e[lust]</a></td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon2" style="font-size: 12px;">69</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">522,368</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">608,152</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">5</td><!-- <td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size:12px">n/a</td> --><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">4</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon"><a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/elustsexblogs" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"><img alt="rss" border="0" height="17" src="http://www.invesp.com/components/com_rating/images/icon_rss.gif" width="17" /></a></td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_score" style="font-size: 12px;">95.5</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_budge"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/null" style="cursor: pointer;"><img alt="100" src="http://www.invesp.com/components/com_rating/images/budge_small.gif" /></a></td><!--<td class="topblogs_bg-content_budge2">12th </td> --></tr>
<tr><td class="topblogs_bg-content_hash">13th</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_title"><a href="http://popmycherryreview.com/" target="_blank">Pop My Cherry Review</a></td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon2" style="font-size: 12px;">238</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">480,512</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">540,071</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">6</td><!-- <td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size:12px">n/a</td> --><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">3</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon"><a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/PopMyCherryReview" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"><img alt="rss" border="0" height="17" src="http://www.invesp.com/components/com_rating/images/icon_rss.gif" width="17" /></a></td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_score" style="font-size: 12px;">95.4</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_budge"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/null" style="cursor: pointer;"><img alt="100" src="http://www.invesp.com/components/com_rating/images/budge_small.gif" /></a></td><!--<td class="topblogs_bg-content_budge2">13th </td> --></tr>
<tr><td class="topblogs_bg-content_hash">14th</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_title"><a href="http://viewfromthefloor.com/" target="_blank">A View from the Floor</a></td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon2" style="font-size: 12px;">340</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">882,755</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">1,884,144</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">7</td><!-- <td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size:12px">n/a</td> --><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">2</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon"><a href="http://feeds2.feedburner.com/viewfromthefloor/ZZJc" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"><img alt="rss" border="0" height="17" src="http://www.invesp.com/components/com_rating/images/icon_rss.gif" width="17" /></a></td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_score" style="font-size: 12px;">95.38</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_budge"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/null" style="cursor: pointer;"><img alt="100" src="http://www.invesp.com/components/com_rating/images/budge_small.gif" /></a></td><!--<td class="topblogs_bg-content_budge2">14th </td> --></tr>
<tr><td class="topblogs_bg-content_hash">15th</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_title"><a href="http://honeyandlance.com/" target="_blank">Honey and Lance</a></td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon2" style="font-size: 12px;">304</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">750,512</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">1,115,039</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">6</td><!-- <td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size:12px">n/a</td> --><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">3</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon"><a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/HoneyAndLance" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"><img alt="rss" border="0" height="17" src="http://www.invesp.com/components/com_rating/images/icon_rss.gif" width="17" /></a></td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_score" style="font-size: 12px;">95.22</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_budge"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/null" style="cursor: pointer;"><img alt="100" src="http://www.invesp.com/components/com_rating/images/budge_small.gif" /></a></td><!--<td class="topblogs_bg-content_budge2">15th </td> --></tr>
<tr><td class="topblogs_bg-content_hash">16th</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_title"><a href="http://www.reginalynn.com/" target="_blank">Regina Lynns SexRev2.0</a></td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon2" style="font-size: 12px;">1,295</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">1,704,950</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">3,805,133</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">6</td><!-- <td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size:12px">n/a</td> --><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">4</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon"><a href="http://www.reginalynn.com/feed" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"><img alt="rss" border="0" height="17" src="http://www.invesp.com/components/com_rating/images/icon_rss.gif" width="17" /></a></td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_score" style="font-size: 12px;">95.19</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_budge"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/null" style="cursor: pointer;"><img alt="100" src="http://www.invesp.com/components/com_rating/images/budge_small.gif" /></a></td><!--<td class="topblogs_bg-content_budge2">16th </td> --></tr>
<tr><td class="topblogs_bg-content_hash">17th</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_title"><a href="http://www.betweenmysheets.com/" target="_blank">Between My Sheets</a></td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon2" style="font-size: 12px;">648</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">238,340</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">355,168</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">6</td><!-- <td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size:12px">n/a</td> --><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">4</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon"><a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/betweenmysheets" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"><img alt="rss" border="0" height="17" src="http://www.invesp.com/components/com_rating/images/icon_rss.gif" width="17" /></a></td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_score" style="font-size: 12px;">95.16</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_budge"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/null" style="cursor: pointer;"><img alt="100" src="http://www.invesp.com/components/com_rating/images/budge_small.gif" /></a></td><!--<td class="topblogs_bg-content_budge2">17th </td> --></tr>
<tr><td class="topblogs_bg-content_hash">18th</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_title"><a href="http://mommyhasaheadache.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">Mommy Has A Headache</a></td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon2" style="font-size: 12px;">752</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">n/a</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">1,512,848</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">3</td><!-- <td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size:12px">n/a</td> --><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">4</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon"><a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/blogspot/FJre" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"><img alt="rss" border="0" height="17" src="http://www.invesp.com/components/com_rating/images/icon_rss.gif" width="17" /></a></td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_score" style="font-size: 12px;">95.15</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_budge"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/null" style="cursor: pointer;"><img alt="100" src="http://www.invesp.com/components/com_rating/images/budge_small.gif" /></a></td><!--<td class="topblogs_bg-content_budge2">18th </td> --></tr>
<tr><td class="topblogs_bg-content_hash">19th</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_title"><a href="http://www.cherrytv.com/" target="_blank">Cherry TV - "Juicy Talk for Women"</a></td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon2" style="font-size: 12px;">n/a</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">158,480</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">824,048</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">27</td><!-- <td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size:12px">n/a</td> --><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">4</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon"><a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/CherryTv-JuicyTalkForWomen" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"><img alt="rss" border="0" height="17" src="http://www.invesp.com/components/com_rating/images/icon_rss.gif" width="17" /></a></td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_score" style="font-size: 12px;">94.94</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_budge"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/null" style="cursor: pointer;"><img alt="100" src="http://www.invesp.com/components/com_rating/images/budge_small.gif" /></a></td><!--<td class="topblogs_bg-content_budge2">19th </td> --></tr>
<tr><td class="topblogs_bg-content_hash"><span class="goog_qs-tidbit goog_qs-tidbit-0">20th</span></td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_title"><a href="http://www.savvymiss.com/" target="_blank"><span class="goog_qs-tidbit goog_qs-tidbit-0">Savvy Miss Love & Sex</span></a></td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon2" style="font-size: 12px;"><span class="goog_qs-tidbit goog_qs-tidbit-0">n/a</span></td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;"><span class="goog_qs-tidbit goog_qs-tidbit-0">204,094</span></td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;"><span class="goog_qs-tidbit goog_qs-tidbit-0">540,750</span></td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;"><span class="goog_qs-tidbit goog_qs-tidbit-0">11</span></td><!-- <td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size:12px">n/a</td> --><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;"><span class="goog_qs-tidbit goog_qs-tidbit-0">4</span></td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon"><a href="http://www.savvymiss.com/rss-feeds-list/love-sex/rss.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"><img alt="rss" border="0" height="17" src="http://www.invesp.com/components/com_rating/images/icon_rss.gif" width="17" /></a></td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_score" style="font-size: 12px;">94.92</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_budge"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/null" style="cursor: pointer;"><img alt="100" src="http://www.invesp.com/components/com_rating/images/budge_small.gif" /></a></td><!--<td class="topblogs_bg-content_budge2">20th </td> --></tr>
<tr><td class="topblogs_bg-content_hash">21st</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_title"><a href="http://susannahbreslin.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">The Reverse Cowgirl</a></td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon2" style="font-size: 12px;">n/a</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">n/a</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">452,817</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">6</td><!-- <td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size:12px">n/a</td> --><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">6</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon"><a href="http://reversecowgirlblog.blogspot.com/feeds/posts/default?alt=rss" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"><img alt="rss" border="0" height="17" src="http://www.invesp.com/components/com_rating/images/icon_rss.gif" width="17" /></a></td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_score" style="font-size: 12px;">94.39</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_budge"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/null" style="cursor: pointer;"><img alt="100" src="http://www.invesp.com/components/com_rating/images/budge_small.gif" /></a></td><!--<td class="topblogs_bg-content_budge2">21st </td> --></tr>
<tr><td class="topblogs_bg-content_hash">22nd</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_title"><a href="http://alanandmichele.com/" target="_blank">Alan & Michele</a></td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon2" style="font-size: 12px;">46</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">1,233,387</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">620,096</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">4</td><!-- <td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size:12px">n/a</td> --><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">3</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon"><a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/AlanAndMicheleShowAndTell" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"><img alt="rss" border="0" height="17" src="http://www.invesp.com/components/com_rating/images/icon_rss.gif" width="17" /></a></td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_score" style="font-size: 12px;">94.33</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_budge"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/null" style="cursor: pointer;"><img alt="100" src="http://www.invesp.com/components/com_rating/images/budge_small.gif" /></a></td><!--<td class="topblogs_bg-content_budge2">22nd </td> --></tr>
<tr><td class="topblogs_bg-content_hash">23rd</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_title"><a href="http://community.livejournal.com/vaginapagina/" target="_blank">(( VaginaPagina ))</a></td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon2" style="font-size: 12px;">n/a</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">n/a</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">n/a</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">6</td><!-- <td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size:12px">n/a</td> --><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">4</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon"><a href="http://community.livejournal.com/vaginapagina/data/rss" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"><img alt="rss" border="0" height="17" src="http://www.invesp.com/components/com_rating/images/icon_rss.gif" width="17" /></a></td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_score" style="font-size: 12px;">93.98</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_budge"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/null" style="cursor: pointer;"><img alt="100" src="http://www.invesp.com/components/com_rating/images/budge_small.gif" /></a></td><!--<td class="topblogs_bg-content_budge2">23rd </td> --></tr>
<tr><td class="topblogs_bg-content_hash">24th</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_title"><a href="http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/sex/" target="_blank">Love + Sex</a></td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon2" style="font-size: 12px;">n/a</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">n/a</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">n/a</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">25</td><!-- <td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size:12px">n/a</td> --><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">6</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon"><a href="http://shine.yahoo.com/rss/blog/channel/sex/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"><img alt="rss" border="0" height="17" src="http://www.invesp.com/components/com_rating/images/icon_rss.gif" width="17" /></a></td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_score" style="font-size: 12px;">93.92</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_budge"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/null" style="cursor: pointer;"><img alt="100" src="http://www.invesp.com/components/com_rating/images/budge_small.gif" /></a></td><!--<td class="topblogs_bg-content_budge2">24th </td> --></tr>
<tr><td class="topblogs_bg-content_hash">25th</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_title"><a href="http://prettydumbthings.typepad.com/chelseagirl/" target="_blank">pretty dumb things</a></td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon2" style="font-size: 12px;">n/a</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">n/a</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">n/a</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">1</td><!-- <td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size:12px">n/a</td> --><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">5</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon"><a href="http://prettydumbthings.typepad.com/chelseagirl/rss.xml" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"><img alt="rss" border="0" height="17" src="http://www.invesp.com/components/com_rating/images/icon_rss.gif" width="17" /></a></td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_score" style="font-size: 12px;">93.76</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_budge"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/null" style="cursor: pointer;"><img alt="100" src="http://www.invesp.com/components/com_rating/images/budge_small.gif" /></a></td><!--<td class="topblogs_bg-content_budge2">25th </td> --></tr>
<tr><td class="topblogs_bg-content_hash">26th</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_title"><a href="http://aagblog.com/" target="_blank">aag</a></td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon2" style="font-size: 12px;">n/a</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">1,727,420</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">1,213,529</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">7</td><!-- <td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size:12px">n/a</td> --><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">4</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon"><a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/Alwaysarousedgirl" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"><img alt="rss" border="0" height="17" src="http://www.invesp.com/components/com_rating/images/icon_rss.gif" width="17" /></a></td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_score" style="font-size: 12px;">93.72</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_budge"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/null" style="cursor: pointer;"><img alt="100" src="http://www.invesp.com/components/com_rating/images/budge_small.gif" /></a></td><!--<td class="topblogs_bg-content_budge2">26th </td> --></tr>
<tr><td class="topblogs_bg-content_hash">27th</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_title"><a href="http://sexgenderbody.com/" target="_blank">SexGenderBody</a></td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon2" style="font-size: 12px;">188</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">1,080,998</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">2,514,560</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">11</td><!-- <td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size:12px">n/a</td> --><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">5</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon"><a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/Sexgenderbody" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"><img alt="rss" border="0" height="17" src="http://www.invesp.com/components/com_rating/images/icon_rss.gif" width="17" /></a></td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_score" style="font-size: 12px;">93.6</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_budge"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/null" style="cursor: pointer;"><img alt="100" src="http://www.invesp.com/components/com_rating/images/budge_small.gif" /></a></td><!--<td class="topblogs_bg-content_budge2">27th </td> --></tr>
<tr><td class="topblogs_bg-content_hash">28th</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_title"><a href="http://www.polyweekly.com/" target="_blank">Polyamory Weekly</a></td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon2" style="font-size: 12px;">n/a</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">643,962</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">1,530,391</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">11</td><!-- <td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size:12px">n/a</td> --><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">4</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon"><a href="http://polyweekly.libsyn.org/rss" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"><img alt="rss" border="0" height="17" src="http://www.invesp.com/components/com_rating/images/icon_rss.gif" width="17" /></a></td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_score" style="font-size: 12px;">93.51</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_budge"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/null" style="cursor: pointer;"><img alt="100" src="http://www.invesp.com/components/com_rating/images/budge_small.gif" /></a></td><!--<td class="topblogs_bg-content_budge2">28th </td> --></tr>
<tr><td class="topblogs_bg-content_hash">29th</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_title"><a href="http://midwestteensexshow.com/" target="_blank">Midwest Teen Sex Show</a></td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon2" style="font-size: 12px;">n/a</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">525,090</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">3,919,841</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">20</td><!-- <td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size:12px">n/a</td> --><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">5</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon"><a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/MidwestTeenSexShow" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"><img alt="rss" border="0" height="17" src="http://www.invesp.com/components/com_rating/images/icon_rss.gif" width="17" /></a></td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_score" style="font-size: 12px;">93.24</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_budge"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/null" style="cursor: pointer;"><img alt="100" src="http://www.invesp.com/components/com_rating/images/budge_small.gif" /></a></td><!--<td class="topblogs_bg-content_budge2">29th </td> --></tr>
<tr><td class="topblogs_bg-content_hash">30th</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_title"><a href="http://practicalpolyamory.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">Practical Polyamory?</a></td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon2" style="font-size: 12px;">256</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">n/a</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">4,907,345</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">2</td><!-- <td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size:12px">n/a</td> --><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">4</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon"><a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/PracticalPolyamory" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"><img alt="rss" border="0" height="17" src="http://www.invesp.com/components/com_rating/images/icon_rss.gif" width="17" /></a></td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_score" style="font-size: 12px;">93.14</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_budge"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/null" style="cursor: pointer;"><img alt="100" src="http://www.invesp.com/components/com_rating/images/budge_small.gif" /></a></td><!--<td class="topblogs_bg-content_budge2">30th </td> --></tr>
<tr><td class="topblogs_bg-content_hash">31st</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_title"><a href="http://aeva.thumblogger.com/" target="_blank">Erotic Aeva</a></td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon2" style="font-size: 12px;">n/a</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">n/a</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">7,452</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">2</td><!-- <td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size:12px">n/a</td> --><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">1</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon"><a href="http://images.thumblogger.com/thumblog/rss/143842.xml" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"><img alt="rss" border="0" height="17" src="http://www.invesp.com/components/com_rating/images/icon_rss.gif" width="17" /></a></td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_score" style="font-size: 12px;">92.85</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_budge"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/null" style="cursor: pointer;"><img alt="100" src="http://www.invesp.com/components/com_rating/images/budge_small.gif" /></a></td><!--<td class="topblogs_bg-content_budge2">31st </td> --></tr>
<tr><td class="topblogs_bg-content_hash">32nd</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_title"><a href="http://www.spankingwriters.com/blog/" target="_blank">The Spanking Writers</a></td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon2" style="font-size: 12px;">n/a</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">n/a</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">n/a</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">8</td><!-- <td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size:12px">n/a</td> --><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">3</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon"><a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/TheSpankingWriters" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"><img alt="rss" border="0" height="17" src="http://www.invesp.com/components/com_rating/images/icon_rss.gif" width="17" /></a></td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_score" style="font-size: 12px;">92.81</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_budge"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/null" style="cursor: pointer;"><img alt="100" src="http://www.invesp.com/components/com_rating/images/budge_small.gif" /></a></td><!--<td class="topblogs_bg-content_budge2">32nd </td> --></tr>
<tr><td class="topblogs_bg-content_hash">33rd</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_title"><a href="http://www.screaming-violet.com/" target="_blank">Screaming Violet</a></td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon2" style="font-size: 12px;">127</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">2,243,955</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">1,293,130</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">5</td><!-- <td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size:12px">n/a</td> --><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">3</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon"><a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/Screaming-Violet" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"><img alt="rss" border="0" height="17" src="http://www.invesp.com/components/com_rating/images/icon_rss.gif" width="17" /></a></td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_score" style="font-size: 12px;">92.69</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_budge"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/null" style="cursor: pointer;"><img alt="100" src="http://www.invesp.com/components/com_rating/images/budge_small.gif" /></a></td><!--<td class="topblogs_bg-content_budge2">33rd </td> --></tr>
<tr><td class="topblogs_bg-content_hash">34th</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_title"><a href="http://andeatingit2.com/" target="_blank">Having My Cake and Eating It Too</a></td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon2" style="font-size: 12px;">n/a</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">785,868</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">1,304,076</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">10</td><!-- <td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size:12px">n/a</td> --><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">4</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon"><a href="http://andeatingit2.com/feed/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"><img alt="rss" border="0" height="17" src="http://www.invesp.com/components/com_rating/images/icon_rss.gif" width="17" /></a></td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_score" style="font-size: 12px;">92.66</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_budge"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/null" style="cursor: pointer;"><img alt="100" src="http://www.invesp.com/components/com_rating/images/budge_small.gif" /></a></td><!--<td class="topblogs_bg-content_budge2">34th </td> --></tr>
<tr><td class="topblogs_bg-content_hash">35th</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_title"><a href="http://www.sexetc.org/blog/" target="_blank">Beyond the Birds & the Bees</a></td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon2" style="font-size: 12px;">n/a</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">n/a</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">n/a</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">3</td><!-- <td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size:12px">n/a</td> --><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">6</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon"><a href="http://www.sexetc.org/blog/?feed=rss2" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"><img alt="rss" border="0" height="17" src="http://www.invesp.com/components/com_rating/images/icon_rss.gif" width="17" /></a></td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_score" style="font-size: 12px;">92.64</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_budge"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/null" style="cursor: pointer;"><img alt="100" src="http://www.invesp.com/components/com_rating/images/budge_small.gif" /></a></td><!--<td class="topblogs_bg-content_budge2">35th </td> --></tr>
<tr><td class="topblogs_bg-content_hash">36th</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_title"><a href="http://www.awomanandherwand.com/" target="_blank">A Woman And Her Wand</a></td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon2" style="font-size: 12px;">n/a</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">4,096,182</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">518,162</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">2</td><!-- <td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size:12px">n/a</td> --><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">2</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon"><a href="http://feeds2.feedburner.com/AWomanAndHerWand" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"><img alt="rss" border="0" height="17" src="http://www.invesp.com/components/com_rating/images/icon_rss.gif" width="17" /></a></td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_score" style="font-size: 12px;">92.61</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_budge"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/null" style="cursor: pointer;"><img alt="100" src="http://www.invesp.com/components/com_rating/images/budge_small.gif" /></a></td><!--<td class="topblogs_bg-content_budge2">36th </td> --></tr>
<tr><td class="topblogs_bg-content_hash">37th</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_title"><a href="http://heartbreaknympho.com/" target="_blank">Heartbreak Nymphomania</a></td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon2" style="font-size: 12px;">364</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">2,377,169</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">4,115,001</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">2</td><!-- <td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size:12px">n/a</td> --><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">3</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon"><a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/heartbreaknympho" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"><img alt="rss" border="0" height="17" src="http://www.invesp.com/components/com_rating/images/icon_rss.gif" width="17" /></a></td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_score" style="font-size: 12px;">92.48</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_budge"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/null" style="cursor: pointer;"><img alt="100" src="http://www.invesp.com/components/com_rating/images/budge_small.gif" /></a></td><!--<td class="topblogs_bg-content_budge2">37th </td> --></tr>
<tr><td class="topblogs_bg-content_hash">38th</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_title"><a href="http://sexinthepublicsquare.org/" target="_blank">Sex In The Public Square - activism + community + information</a></td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon2" style="font-size: 12px;">n/a</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">961,529</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">2,084,889</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">10</td><!-- <td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size:12px">n/a</td> --><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">4</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon"><a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/SitPSdotorg" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"><img alt="rss" border="0" height="17" src="http://www.invesp.com/components/com_rating/images/icon_rss.gif" width="17" /></a></td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_score" style="font-size: 12px;">92.45</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_budge"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/null" style="cursor: pointer;"><img alt="100" src="http://www.invesp.com/components/com_rating/images/budge_small.gif" /></a></td><!--<td class="topblogs_bg-content_budge2">38th </td> --></tr>
<tr><td class="topblogs_bg-content_hash">39th</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_title"><a href="http://www.diaryofakinkylibrarian.com/" target="_blank">Diary of a Kinky Librarian</a></td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon2" style="font-size: 12px;">n/a</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">2,455,265</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">1,953,443</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">3</td><!-- <td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size:12px">n/a</td> --><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">3</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon"><a href="http://feeds2.feedburner.com/DiaryOfAKinkyLibrarian" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"><img alt="rss" border="0" height="17" src="http://www.invesp.com/components/com_rating/images/icon_rss.gif" width="17" /></a></td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_score" style="font-size: 12px;">92.43</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_budge"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/null" style="cursor: pointer;"><img alt="100" src="http://www.invesp.com/components/com_rating/images/budge_small.gif" /></a></td><!--<td class="topblogs_bg-content_budge2">39th </td> --></tr>
<tr><td class="topblogs_bg-content_hash">40th</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_title"><a href="http://wantonlotus.com/" target="_blank">Wanton Lotus Reviews</a></td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon2" style="font-size: 12px;">116</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">2,717,266</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">2,096,355</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">4</td><!-- <td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size:12px">n/a</td> --><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">3</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon"><a href="http://feeds2.feedburner.com/wantonlotus" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"><img alt="rss" border="0" height="17" src="http://www.invesp.com/components/com_rating/images/icon_rss.gif" width="17" /></a></td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_score" style="font-size: 12px;">92.42</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_budge"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/null" style="cursor: pointer;"><img alt="100" src="http://www.invesp.com/components/com_rating/images/budge_small.gif" /></a></td><!--<td class="topblogs_bg-content_budge2">40th </td> --></tr>
<tr><td class="topblogs_bg-content_hash">41st</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_title"><a href="http://topcowblog.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">Having my cake and eating it too</a></td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon2" style="font-size: 12px;">n/a</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">n/a</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">n/a</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">1</td><!-- <td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size:12px">n/a</td> --><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">4</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon"><a href="http://topcowblog.blogspot.com/feeds/posts/default" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"><img alt="rss" border="0" height="17" src="http://www.invesp.com/components/com_rating/images/icon_rss.gif" width="17" /></a></td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_score" style="font-size: 12px;">92.32</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_budge"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/null" style="cursor: pointer;"><img alt="100" src="http://www.invesp.com/components/com_rating/images/budge_small.gif" /></a></td><!--<td class="topblogs_bg-content_budge2">41st </td> --></tr>
<tr><td class="topblogs_bg-content_hash">42nd</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_title"><a href="http://blog.sfsi.org/" target="_blank">San Francisco Sex Information</a></td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon2" style="font-size: 12px;">n/a</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">n/a</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">n/a</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">1</td><!-- <td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size:12px">n/a</td> --><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">4</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon"><a href="http://blog.sfsi.org/feed/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"><img alt="rss" border="0" height="17" src="http://www.invesp.com/components/com_rating/images/icon_rss.gif" width="17" /></a></td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_score" style="font-size: 12px;">92.24</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_budge"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/null" style="cursor: pointer;"><img alt="100" src="http://www.invesp.com/components/com_rating/images/budge_small.gif" /></a></td><!--<td class="topblogs_bg-content_budge2">42nd </td> --></tr>
<tr><td class="topblogs_bg-content_hash">43rd</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_title"><a href="http://www.astramatch.com/blog/" target="_blank">AstraMatch Blog</a></td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon2" style="font-size: 12px;">n/a</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">n/a</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">n/a</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">5</td><!-- <td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size:12px">n/a</td> --><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">3</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon"><a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/AstraMatch" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"><img alt="rss" border="0" height="17" src="http://www.invesp.com/components/com_rating/images/icon_rss.gif" width="17" /></a></td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_score" style="font-size: 12px;">92.11</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_budge"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/null" style="cursor: pointer;"><img alt="100" src="http://www.invesp.com/components/com_rating/images/budge_small.gif" /></a></td><!--<td class="topblogs_bg-content_budge2">43rd </td> --></tr>
<tr><td class="topblogs_bg-content_hash">44th</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_title"><a href="http://virginityproject.typepad.com/the_virginity_project/" target="_blank">The Virginity Project</a></td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon2" style="font-size: 12px;">n/a</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">n/a</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">n/a</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">4</td><!-- <td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size:12px">n/a</td> --><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">3</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon"><a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/TheVirginityProject" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"><img alt="rss" border="0" height="17" src="http://www.invesp.com/components/com_rating/images/icon_rss.gif" width="17" /></a></td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_score" style="font-size: 12px;">92.11</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_budge"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/null" style="cursor: pointer;"><img alt="100" src="http://www.invesp.com/components/com_rating/images/budge_small.gif" /></a></td><!--<td class="topblogs_bg-content_budge2">44th </td> --></tr>
<tr><td class="topblogs_bg-content_hash">45th</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_title"><a href="http://rhiinpink.com/blog/" target="_blank">rhiinpink.com</a></td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon2" style="font-size: 12px;">n/a</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">n/a</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">n/a</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">1</td><!-- <td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size:12px">n/a</td> --><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">3</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon"><a href="http://rhiinpink.com/blog/?feed=rss2" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"><img alt="rss" border="0" height="17" src="http://www.invesp.com/components/com_rating/images/icon_rss.gif" width="17" /></a></td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_score" style="font-size: 12px;">92.08</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_budge"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/null" style="cursor: pointer;"><img alt="100" src="http://www.invesp.com/components/com_rating/images/budge_small.gif" /></a></td><!--<td class="topblogs_bg-content_budge2">45th </td> --></tr>
<tr><td class="topblogs_bg-content_hash">46th</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_title"><a href="http://sextoys.moystoys.com/" target="_blank">moystoys</a></td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon2" style="font-size: 12px;">n/a</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">n/a</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">1,223,259</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">3</td><!-- <td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size:12px">n/a</td> --><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">1</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon"><a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/moyssextoyblog" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"><img alt="rss" border="0" height="17" src="http://www.invesp.com/components/com_rating/images/icon_rss.gif" width="17" /></a></td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_score" style="font-size: 12px;">92.07</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_budge"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/null" style="cursor: pointer;"><img alt="100" src="http://www.invesp.com/components/com_rating/images/budge_small.gif" /></a></td><!--<td class="topblogs_bg-content_budge2">46th </td> --></tr>
<tr><td class="topblogs_bg-content_hash">47th</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_title"><a href="http://www.ihavesexwithstrangers.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">ihavesexwithstrangers</a></td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon2" style="font-size: 12px;">n/a</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">n/a</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">636,049</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">4</td><!-- <td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size:12px">n/a</td> --><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">1</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon"><a href="http://www.ihavesexwithstrangers.blogspot.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"><img alt="rss" border="0" height="17" src="http://www.invesp.com/components/com_rating/images/icon_rss.gif" width="17" /></a></td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_score" style="font-size: 12px;">92.05</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_budge"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/null" style="cursor: pointer;"><img alt="100" src="http://www.invesp.com/components/com_rating/images/budge_small.gif" /></a></td><!--<td class="topblogs_bg-content_budge2">47th </td> --></tr>
<tr><td class="topblogs_bg-content_hash">48th</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_title"><a href="http://debauchette.com/" target="_blank">debauchette</a></td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon2" style="font-size: 12px;">n/a</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">950,366</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">3,247,359</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">2</td><!-- <td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size:12px">n/a</td> --><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">5</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon"><a href="http://debauchette.wordpress.com/feed/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"><img alt="rss" border="0" height="17" src="http://www.invesp.com/components/com_rating/images/icon_rss.gif" width="17" /></a></td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_score" style="font-size: 12px;">91.99</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_budge"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/null" style="cursor: pointer;"><img alt="100" src="http://www.invesp.com/components/com_rating/images/budge_small.gif" /></a></td><!--<td class="topblogs_bg-content_budge2">48th </td> --></tr>
<tr><td class="topblogs_bg-content_hash">49th</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_title"><a href="http://adelehaze.com/" target="_blank">Adele Haze's 'Spanking Model Speaks'</a></td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon2" style="font-size: 12px;">n/a</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">575,700</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">2,353,573</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">7</td><!-- <td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size:12px">n/a</td> --><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">3</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon"><a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/SpankingModelSpeaks" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"><img alt="rss" border="0" height="17" src="http://www.invesp.com/components/com_rating/images/icon_rss.gif" width="17" /></a></td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_score" style="font-size: 12px;">91.92</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_budge"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/null" style="cursor: pointer;"><img alt="100" src="http://www.invesp.com/components/com_rating/images/budge_small.gif" /></a></td><!--<td class="topblogs_bg-content_budge2">49th </td> --></tr>
<tr><td class="topblogs_bg-content_hash">50th</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_title"><a href="http://www.marriedandhappy.com/Blog/" target="_blank">Married And Happy</a></td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon2" style="font-size: 12px;">n/a</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">n/a</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">n/a</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">2</td><!-- <td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size:12px">n/a</td> --><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon" style="font-size: 12px;">1</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_siteicon"><a href="http://marriedandhappy.com/Blog/atom.xml" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"><img alt="rss" border="0" height="17" src="http://www.invesp.com/components/com_rating/images/icon_rss.gif" width="17" /></a></td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_score" style="font-size: 12px;">91.82</td><td class="topblogs_bg-content_budge"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/null" style="cursor: pointer;"><img alt="100" src="http://www.invesp.com/components/com_rating/images/budge_small.gif" /></a></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</table>
</table>
</div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<strong>Everyone is wired to love. Bypassing this is nothing but heartache or sexual addiction to mask your heartache.</strong> David's wifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17468157675342425570noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5467334768781245423.post-24998697062592208802012-10-25T18:40:00.000-07:002012-10-25T18:40:34.633-07:00Online Love <b>The Love Lost Generation: The Problem with On-line Dating and Choice. </b><br />
Love-lost genration? Sadly we are more confused than ever. Our cave life made it all much simpler. A hundred possbile dates? Are you kidding?<br />
<br />
GF Becca calls. Disgusted with on-line dating- too much time, too much work, too little results. Is she alone? Hardly. The industry calls it “one of the best tools,” but unfortunately our cave brains see it as a massive stimulus overload. You just have too many choices! It might seem great to have hundreds of potential matches but then again our mind plays some tricks with all that information. <br />
<br />
First, it gives us a false sense of confidence that we are in more control than we are. Then we make the next mistake, thinking we have control we maximize our pay-off. So when Becca saw Tom, a heart surgeon who took a liking to her pic, she chose him—Not for nothing but Becca is a cocktail waitress and wouldn’t know an artery from an arterial.<br />
<br />
What she doesn’t know is that our brains get irritated when we are faced with too much choice. Oh how we hate to be wrong, indecisive and leave tings to chance. So she makes her contact. Now her brain decides to screw her over again—she becomes <span style="text-decoration: underline;">convinced </span>they are destined. She goes back to his profile and works over all the reasons they are a couple. We call it <i>post-decision dissonance</i> and without all the science gab, it’s a way that we make ourselves feel better after we make a choice. We <i>feel</i>more confident. Those dating sites know this. They know you might do all the things that Becca did and that’s why they give you certain information and then smack it with a percentage. He was 97% her match. For the next day she read, reread and presumed that they had everything in common. <br />
<br />
Now <i>effort- justification</i> kicks in. What’s that? It’s when we amp up our confidence that our efforts are well-justified. After all, she spent two solid days filling our questionnaires and another weekend responding to questions and queries. Our minds don’t like to think our efforts are worthless and Becca was absolutely convinced that there was a pay-off in there for her. Of course her mind filled in all the gaping pot-holes in her path—after all with hundreds of choices and a 97% match, what could go wrong? Plenty.<br />
<br />
The date was a disaster. He, like 67% of men use on-line dating as a hook-up tool. After plying her with gin he proceeded to tell her about his other vein—She bolted from the restaurant.<br />
But even if that last scenario didn’t happen all that choice lends us to experience some big disappointment. So what can you do? First you just learned something about how thinking can undermine our efforts. However in the next weeks I’ll set out some great rules that can help in maximizing on-line dating efforts.<br />
<br />
<span style="text-decoration: underline;">For more information</span>: Online Dating: A Critical Analysis From the Perspective of Psychological Science, by Eli J. Finkel, Paul W. Eastwick, Benjamin R. Karney, Harry T. Reis, and Susan SprecherDavid's wifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17468157675342425570noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5467334768781245423.post-45397701503771629912012-10-24T22:14:00.000-07:002012-10-24T22:14:00.086-07:00Grandma, grandpa, parents, young and old ..What do they have in common? The word love- as in lovers. There are more lovers in this world than not. It's a uniting force that has sustained humanity. Do you love some one? Research tells us we say nicer things to stranger than the person we love, because we count on their <u>unconditional love</u>. Today, tell that person how much they matter to you. Say something to rock their world. Today I have summoned a paragraph for my love. . . How 'bout you? David's wifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17468157675342425570noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5467334768781245423.post-77099052590700721102012-10-21T21:57:00.001-07:002012-10-21T21:58:12.638-07:00Can Friends Become Lovers? Tell me. . .Can they? It happens more than we know it. When you notice they are better looking than you thought, it's working. When you are happy just seeing them, i'ts working. Comfortable together? It's working. Research tells us that the <u>mere exposure effect</u> makes us sink into happiness when we see a familiar face, a loved one or an accepting friend. In spite of on-line dating, more romances happen when faced with a familiar face. And it keeps love going. Happy couples relish seeing one another. Have you had this experience? David's wifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17468157675342425570noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5467334768781245423.post-71772577044739036322012-10-19T09:54:00.000-07:002012-10-19T09:54:18.029-07:00The Smallest Penis . .
<a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/10/12/smallest-penis-contest_n_1962514.html">http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/10/12/smallest-penis-contest_n_1962514.html</a><br />
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpFirst" style="line-height: normal; margin: 1em 0px;">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><strong> Yes, there is a small penis contest. </strong><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">Can I enter a Gorilla? The king of the harem comes in at a whopping 2-3 cm--or the size of a cigarette butt.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpFirst" style="line-height: normal; margin: 1em 0px;">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span><strong>You can possibly win an iPhone or ipad if you have the smallest erect penis -in Denmark. </strong>The average penis is 5.5 inches and there is a lot of variety out there. The cocky collaborators of this stunt think that it will open dialogue for men who thinks they don't measure up. From a scientific point almost all women are completely satisfied with their partner's size but almost all men think they don't measure up. And boy do they obsess over it, spending millions on pills, stretchers and pullers--none of which work. But men have good reason to think this way. The only erections they see are on porn sites and there is just no market for the average. And science tells us something else men should know--when women love them, they love all of them, tiny, teensy, bent, crooked, blue, pink, dark. It only makes me wonder what other crazy things we can dream and scheme up. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpFirst" style="line-height: normal; margin: 1em 0px;">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpFirst" style="line-height: normal; margin: 1em 0px;">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span> </div>
David's wifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17468157675342425570noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5467334768781245423.post-53093660456783546172012-10-19T07:48:00.000-07:002012-10-19T07:48:45.745-07:00The Love Lost Generation: The Problem with On-line dating and all that Choice.
<br />
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpFirst" style="line-height: normal; margin: 1em 0px;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">The Love Lost Generation: <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The
Problem with On-line Dating and Choice.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></b></div>
Love-lost genration? Sadly we are more confused than ever. Our cave life made it all much simpler. A hundred possbile dates? Are you kidding? <br />
<br />
GF Becca calls.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Disgusted with on-line dating- too much time,
too much work, too little results.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Is
she alone?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Hardly. The industry calls it
"one of the best tools," but unfortunately our cave brains see it as
a massive stimulus overload.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You just have
too many choices!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It might seem great to
have hundreds of potential matches but then again our mind plays some tricks with
all that information.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>First, it gives us
a false sense of confidence that we are in more control than we are.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Then we make the next mistake, thinking we have
control we maximize our pay-off. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So when
Becca saw Tom, a heart surgeon who took a liking to her pic, she chose him—Not
for nothing but Becca is a cocktail waitress and wouldn't know an artery from
an arterial.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p><br />
<br />
What she doesn’t know
is that our brains get irritated when we are faced with too much choice.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Oh how we hate to be wrong, indecisive and
leave tings to chance.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So she makes her
contact.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Now her brain decides to screw her over again—she
becomes <u>convinced </u>they are destined.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>She goes back to his profile and works over all the reasons they are a
couple. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We call it <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">post-decision dissonance</i> and without all the science gab, it's a
way that we make ourselves feel better after we make a choice. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">feel</i>
more confident.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Those dating sites know
this.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They know you might do all the
things that Becca did and that's why they give you certain information and then
smack it with a percentage.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He was 97%
her match.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For the next day she read,
reread and presumed that they had everything in common.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Now <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">effort- justification</i> kicks in.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What's that?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It's when we amp up our confidence that our efforts are well-justified.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After all, she spent two solid days filling
our questionnaires and another weekend responding to questions and queries.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Our minds don't like to think our efforts are
worthless and Becca was absolutely convinced that there was a pay-off in there
for her.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Of course her mind filled in
all the gaping pot-holes in her path—after all with hundreds of choices and a
97% match, what could go wrong? Plenty.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p><br />
<br />
The date was a
disaster.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He, like 67% of men use
on-line dating as a hook-up tool.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After
plying her with gin he proceeded to tell her about his other vein—She bolted from
the restaurant.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p><br />
<br />
But even if that last
scenario didn't happen all that choice lends us to experience some big disappointment.
So what can you do? <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>First you just learned
something about how thinking can undermine our efforts.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>However in the next weeks <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I'll set out some great rules that can help in
maximizing on-line dating efforts.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal; margin: 1em 0px;">
<o:p> </o:p><u>For more
information</u>:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Online Dating: A Critical
Analysis From the Perspective of
Psychological Science, by Eli J. Finkel, Paul W. Eastwick, Benjamin R. Karney,
Harry T. Reis, and Susan Sprecher<o:p></o:p></div>
David's wifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17468157675342425570noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5467334768781245423.post-17010696325897412562012-09-01T18:10:00.002-07:002012-10-21T22:02:03.010-07:00Men, Women, Relationships,Relationships, Sex, Orgasm and Showing Him How - a Mini Blog You have to teach him and show him what you need- don't expect him to know it himself, say's Dr. Ruth and Dr. Dawn.<br />
<a data-mce-href="http://www.hlntv.com/video/2012/08/29/dr-ruth-show-your-man-what-you-need" href="http://www.hlntv.com/video/2012/08/29/dr-ruth-show-your-man-what-you-need">http://www.hlntv.com/video/2012/08/29/dr-ruth-show-your-man-what-you-need</a><br />
You need to show him, without words, what to do. It's <strong>pussy-tale</strong> boot camp and the subject is your clitoris and vagina. Seems so intuitive, but it's not. Women often say nothing and do nothing, and men, well alot of you have had some poor training, because no one has told you or you think you know. <strong> It's up to women to take charge</strong>. Now for this mini blog I'll go a step further; satisfy yourself in front of him (that comes-no pun intended- from Dr. Ruth) I'm sure he'll agree and do the same. Show him what you like. If you are apprehensive, well, drink a few glasses of wine first and in the morning blame it on the Pinot Noir. Dr. Dawn HopperDavid's wifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17468157675342425570noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5467334768781245423.post-80390800736884849622012-08-31T14:38:00.000-07:002012-08-31T14:57:58.752-07:00Beauty is in the Eye of the Beholder- Especially When You're in Front of the Mirror<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Beauty matters. </span></b><span style="font-size: 12pt;">It took mother to remind me of this—she’s 87.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Seems like all the years trying to get her to
look at the computer were in vain—it <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>was
her vanity that took her to the mouse in search of a lipstick she <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">had to have—</i>hers was on its last lick. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></i><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She sat all afternoon savoring <a href="http://www.beautynewsnyc.com/"><span style="color: blue;">www.beautynewsnyc.com</span></a>, in my
construction-zone of a house while my husband hammered away above us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She never noticed--him in his short shorts or the pounding. Mesmerized by pages of beauty tips and news she finally broke the spell and spoke. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: 12pt;">“Beauty matters,” said.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: 12pt;">All of a sudden I wondered if she thought I’d forgotten; in 90 + <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>degree weather, putting a new roof on ourWoodstock
house, I nixed the make-up and hair for a week—my bare ass hadn’t seen the
shower either.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Mom, of course I know it
matters.” <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She sensed my concern. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: 12pt;">“No, I don’t mean <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">you</i>, I mean
you <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">psychologists</i>—you know, they think
it all comes from inside.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You can’t forget
that no one likes the gift that comes in a brown paper bag.” She laughed and
added, “We all need a little gift wrap.” <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: 12pt;">How right she is.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Beauty is not
a nasty word; it influences what other’s think of us and what <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">we </i>think of us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m not talking about ravishing beauty, I’m
not talking about obsessive beauty—everyone is beautiful; we need to take pleasure in
enhancing our appearance <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A refined face belies a refined person.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sure we judge books by their covers; are you
supposed to read the damn thing standing at the bookshelf?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Taking care of our outer self is very crucial—one
of the first signs of depression is a lack of regard for one’s beauty.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Have you ever left the hair dressers feeling
on top of the world?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sure you have. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My grandmother would practically hop and skip on
the sidewalk after—and she left with a purple head.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Did you know the hottest selling female product
in recessions is lipsticks and beauty products—why? Oh, how great we feel with
a new face.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal; margin: 1em 0px;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;">There I sat, on wood floors heaved from the rain that in puddles while
I was dining in Italy, staring up at <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>a
hole in my roof that now revealed the big dipper, while watching the dollar
bills being transformed into plywood, shingles and sheet rock.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I went into the bathroom to see what I could
scrap off of my cruddy mosquito bitten body and see what I could scrape up—in the
make-up department.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I spied it on the
sink.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Mom had left her prized lipstick,
nearly dead, but just enough so I could feel like kissing my misery away, with
my construction foreman, who wanted to fiddle, but not on the roof.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Thanks mom. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
David's wifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17468157675342425570noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5467334768781245423.post-38135354827446416252012-08-14T12:29:00.000-07:002012-08-14T12:29:26.411-07:00Italy is for Lovers Apologies for my absence but I have been getting fodder from my travels. Yes, I was in Italy exploring the world of sex and love, food and wine and vista's and scenery with my husband David. ans our college age son, Matthew. All of those I listed are aphrodisiac's in one way or another. You can't help feeling sexy after devouring plates o mushrooms, stretching mozzarella with your teeth, while sitting on a terrace overlooking a castello. The Italians know this; there are condom vending machines even next to the Vatican. Even in the small Village my family lives in, the condom machine is mounted on a wall in the piazza. From our window, during the last week of our stay I kept count of all the local lovers, whose twist of the handle caused a ratchet sound which echoed off our walls. I counted 52 in one night, and that is in a village of 350. Then there is the wine. <br />
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Italy is wasted on beer drinkers. Wine is truly the best Viagra. After a bottle I felt sinfully sexy, nixed any idea of plastic surgery. I began fluffing my hair, batting my mascaraed eyes and speaking with a slight Italian accent to my suave husband, in his fedora and banana hammock- by the private pool at our rental. Actually I bribed him to wear my black jockey microfiber hipsters. Yes I did and as soon as I can bribe him for the photo evidence it will be posted. Anyway, David agreed about the wine thing, said it was an airbrush. I was insulted because he never noticed I shaved my legs and prepped (you know what I mean) for our adventure. My kid noticed it. "Look," he exclaimed. "Mom shaved!"<br />
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We went with our two best buddies, Cristiana and Laurie and their kids- they noticed our absences a couple times a day. But Matt shared our room. Of course it was really hard and we couldn't act on all our impulses with him in the next bed. By the way, I did mean that pun and if you don't get it re-read the last sentence. Nevertheless, the car, shower, rolling hills of Tuscany, my aunts bathroom and the swimming pool all provided opportunities. Wine loosens tongues and bras, lubricates the mind and opens up all sorts of fantasy. We had a ball. Best of all, the night I found him in the bathroom showering, and slipped in, telling him I was a hooker, from Rome, I blamed on the bottle of Chianti the following morning.<br />
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My theory is this: The test of a great relationship is the vacation. If you can leave the stress of life behind, devour the pleasures of their company, enjoy, your relationship is sound. We came home soo happy.... Oh, have I told you all the things Italians do with olive oil? <br />
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I missed you- Dr. Dawn Marlena Hopper. ..or Donatella ...my new name.<br />
Tell me about your love holidays- ---<br />
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David's wifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17468157675342425570noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5467334768781245423.post-89483585045947444462012-06-05T14:26:00.000-07:002012-06-05T14:26:00.401-07:00Match.com: Plenty of Fish in the Sea<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
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It seems all my friends are trawling these days on dating sites and I have a lot of chum to chew about.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ve vowed that if I <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">ever</i> have a single life, I will never go out to sea.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Take Bob, by far the best fisherman out there and my gf’s ex.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She left, he wasn’t ready, and with a broken heart, a heavy dose of sexual rejection,<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>he did exactly what men do to heal—they fish the sea of women.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He’s not into the catch and release program and he’s floundered the last month with at least a dozen fish, <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>some still on ice, in his walk-in-cooler.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know he’s not exaggerating; my cousin, an experienced fisherman has told me many times the lure can be a phone call, a cheap dinner and a bottle of wine.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Dawn,” he said, “there are so many women out there!” </div>
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So when Bob showed me his line and hook, and made his cast, I had no doubt they’d feast on his bait. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He listed his income in the 99% that most of us 1%er’s despise yet covet and then characterized himself as loving, generous and out for a long term relationship with a woman who could travel the world with him and visit exotic places. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They swarmed. </div>
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Bob responded, and with a heavy heart telling them he was still in love with his scornful wife and terribly lonely. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Men, he cast the perfect line.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This wounded guppy created the perfect feeding ground for bottom dwellers.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Woman #1 responds.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He tells me she is self-made, a professional gambler,<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>living with her aged parents, who she lovingly tends to and runs an internet business on EBay. I’m sitting right there when she sends him a picture of her at that moment in her panties. A Black lace piece of dental floss. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I look down at my crotch imagining what my husband might think if I sent him my shot, right at that moment—jockey microfiber granny panties.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I tuck away the idea of doing something fun for David and<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>went back to Bob’s plight.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Hi mind was wound in the Black lace but my logical prefrontal cortex was screaming.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So I translate: Compulsive gambler, lost so much money she has to live her parents basement and sell her garage sale finds to fill her gas tank.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I add that she might be selling her used underwear.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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“But she doesn’t drink,” he retorts. </div>
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“Oh,”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I say, “she’s a recovering alcoholic too.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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A week later he tells me I was right. His revelation came after he found himself eating alone in the casino dining room and after she swiped the tip off the table for “just one more game.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The evening was topped off with wild sex after she beat him at strip poker and out of a couple hundred dollars.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“How did that happen?” I asked. </div>
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“Every time I lost a piece of clothing I had to pay her fifty dollars.” </div>
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By now he’s got a new one on the line.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“She’s really down to earth,” he tells me. He describes her life:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She doesn’t care about money— which was a revelation after her near-death experience, after the bus hit her, and after the state took her four kids when she woke from the three month coma, couldn’t recall her own name but had to start again by working in a soup kitchen and living in a studio. </div>
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“How old is she?” I ask. </div>
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He responded but all I processed was “still fertile.” </div>
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“Did you use a condom?” I asked.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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“Oh my God,” he said. “I never thought about that.” </div>
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Somehow my mind conjured up the predatory image.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Nothing more juicy than a fat wallet and a desperate man.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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“Bob, it’s like the food chain.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You think your landing plenty of fish but they have to feed too.”</div>
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As the weeks went by<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Bob got tired of his expedition. “It’s like a full time job,” he told me. “Depressing as hell.” <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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He turned the iPod towards me so I could read it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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All the right words were there; Attractive, divorced, financially secure, wanted honest long term relationship, loved to travel to exotic places. . . .” </div>
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He scrolled up to the photo.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was his ex. </div>David's wifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17468157675342425570noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5467334768781245423.post-48706167341209518802012-06-03T14:05:00.000-07:002012-06-03T14:05:00.656-07:00In Case you Didn’t Know, We Baby Boomer’s Invented Sex, Drugs and Rock n’ Roll<div class="MsoNormalCxSpFirst">
In Case you Didn’t Know, We Baby Boomer’s Invented Sex, Drugs and Rock n’ Roll<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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When I said that to my college class, they applauded.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know I invented the first two. </div>
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I could roll a joint with my toes when I was 16.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I perfected the art of sex with my first husband in his mother’s basement. Although he got carded when he bought condoms, we managed to make a love nest in an old coal bin.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We bought a kerosene heater for the cold winters and of course, a cot.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Little did we know that the fumes went upstairs and his mother ended up calling the fire department who busted through the tiny window above our heads—finding us naked under a moth-eaten army blanket.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was grounded for a year and sent to a shrink. </div>
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It didn’t stop me from growing pot, a need that grew from my grounding and the weirdo I was forced to meet with once a week.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So, in between my mother’s tomatoes the tall plants thrived.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After I ripped out all the males (you can tell them by their tiny balls at the crotch of a stem) I harvested the five pounds of heavenly weed, with Krissy, my best friend. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We hung the plants in my basement, in the closet that my mother’s wedding gown and honeymoon ensemble were in.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They never smelled the same again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Krissy ended up getting busted at a concert when Stewie Savolinsky narc-ed her out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I buried my stash in my grandmother’s yard and then I drove to the jail with her father and we bailed her out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In the car she pointed to the tiny vest pocket where she revealed a rolled joint.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s amazing how clever we were. </div>
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Do any of you have those memories? <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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We were the Woodstock generation, primed by the mantra “if it feels good do it.” We protested and rocked.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We made love and fought to end the war that took our young men to Vietnam, <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>battled to end segregation and spread the seeds of tolerance for gay rights.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I even stopped shaving my legs—for about three years, then I burned my bra in Philadelphia with a woman who wrote <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Sisterhood is Powerful</i>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ve often wondered where she is now.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>However, I can hardly think of another generation that did as much.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Tell me if I’m wrong.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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Of course if you’re younger you might not believe your parents did these things. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Perhaps they weren’t as wild as I was but the air of the era was contagious.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If they had a Bob Marley album in their vinyl collection, or if they know who he is, they rocked.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But time rolled on and most of us left those lives behind when we faced babies, mortgages and car payments. I shaved my legs, bought a support bra when I saw what my grandmother (who never wore one) looked like in the nude. </div>
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I never told my own children what we did—at least not until they got through all their adolescent temptations.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I stopped the smoking—you can hardly get a PhD being stoned all the time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My attitudes towards sex have changed too—we are having way too much with too many people and for all the wrong reasons.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Who ever thought you would be able to flip a switch on the computer and have streaming porn.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In our time my bothers thought the Sears catalogue was the deal.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After it arrived, the bra ads would be missing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They swore they could see though the fabric.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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I live in Woodstock now, a community with one of the largest aging in place boomers. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My kids are grown and I find my life in a sort of pleasant retrograde.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m having fun.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m not the only one.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Our generation is not taking to retiring in a rocker.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We’re beginning our second act; new careers, new lifestyles and breaking the rules—again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>David's wifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17468157675342425570noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5467334768781245423.post-25431107154676939702012-05-31T13:18:00.002-07:002012-05-31T13:18:23.027-07:00eHarmon-erffic! Some Truths about eHarmony and Why it Works<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
My girlfriend joined a few weeks ago.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I sat by her side and watched the process.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Because I’ve been asked many times about what I think about dating sites, I thought I’d spare the humor and give you a professional opinion.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No, I’m not being paid to say this.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It works because it is based in some rather sound scientific principles.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For those who do not know, eHarmony begins with a series of questions examining your values, beliefs, emotional health and life skills.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It takes hours and in the end, after paying a fee, you are shown some pictures and given limited information about your matches. You have three stages to follow before you get a chance to contact that person.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You cannot lie, you cannot be married nor can you be separated.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They have a way to check you out but that is another blog.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It works for several reasons.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">First</b>, they force you to spend the <u>entire day</u> filling out questionnaires.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you were not in touch with your feelings, it’s like having five serious therapy sessions—in the end you know a hell-of-a lot about yourself and what you can with or cannot live without.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As a side note, there are scales of mental fitness- it might be worth the effort and money to weed out some wakadoodles. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Second</b>, this is a fantastic exercise for anyone, especially men, many of whom have little idea what they really want out side of the best looking woman they can attract.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Men tend to go for the looks first and while women weigh attractiveness they tend to balance it out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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“I want to go out with this one,” my cousin said to me while he was on Plenty of Fish.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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I looked at her picture, in a bikini, at least 20 years his junior. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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“But she says she will not date smokers and you smoke.”</div>
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“I’ll quit,” He tells me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Third</b> and related to the second, you are not bombarded by hundreds of people.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My poor cousin could not sift the chafe from the wheat; he was stuck on young skinny women, twenty years his junior, that were into rock concerts—he wears a hearing aid.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The more balanced matches faded into the page.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>eHarmony whittles the selection process down as the process reminds you what dating is all about.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s the time we get to know someone else—and not just physically. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Fourth, </b>once you hone in on someone<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"> </b>it mimics courting.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You’ve see the face, you’ve read the bio, you have some facts and now you get the chance to tell your philosophy of live,<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There are three stages of guided communication before you can email them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The questions are deep and require thought:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What are five things you cannot live without, or what have you learned from your past relationships, or who has influenced you the most in life and why. These questions reveal a lot about a person. When my girlfriend read that her match could not live without cleanliness, organization, good hygiene and nice teeth, she went on to the next person.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Imagine how long it might have taken her to find out he was such a neat freak?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Fifth, </b>it<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"> </b>requires effort.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Anything worth having is worth waiting for.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s called effort justification and the more we work at something the more valuable we think it is.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This principle applies the moment you sit in front of the computer and face hours of questions with a meter telling you how far you are in the process.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There were a few times I got frustrated when my girlfriend was answering the mounds of questions.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“But I’m 60% done,” she exclaimed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The same idea applies when you’ve spent weeks harmonizing with another person.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Now she’s <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>going on her first date with the man she’s written to for several weeks. I can almost imagine it; awkwardness is set aside. Already they have discussed literature, their careers,<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>their relationships and he’s already aware that she isn’t ready for the bedroom.</div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Sixth, t</b>he name says it all—harmony—as in in-sync<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></b>A<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">s</b> a student of one of the most brilliant minds in the relationship arena (Dr. Donn Byrne) <u>similarity</u> is one of the most potent foundations of liking.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Opposites don’t attract!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We like people who share our views, it tell us we might be right about things.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It also gives us a feeling of control.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I remember some thirty years back when I went on a blind date.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He hated to read, loved heavy metal, chain restaurants and felt no one should leave the county until they had visited every state of the union.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Then there was his life of camping . . . It was a wash out. </div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Seventh,</b><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>familiarity breeds liking.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We like people we are more familiar with the more you talk, the more feel comfortable.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Have you ever had a person grow on you?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s the feeling you get when you realize they suddenly look more attractive. </div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Eight, </b>it’s the timing thing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You have to ready to love and to commit and anyone who takes the time to do eHarmony is in that place.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Ninth, </b>no man who is out for a hump and jump, hook-up, pump and run, or whatever you call it these days is going to pay over two hundred dollars, spend the entire day on the questionnaire, then have to wait another few weeks for some woman to respond to questions that he himself hasn’t written but are supplied by some psycho-computer somewhere. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He’ll be on another site. Your pool is virtually full of likeminded people who want to be in with someone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Finally the most important one of all. </div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Tenth, </b>You can openly discuss your sexual comfort level via the questionnaire and more important, that fling is going to take a while.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You’ve got weeks of a program ahead of you. </div>
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Despite our sexual freedoms, nothing can ruin a relationship more than hooking-up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It clouds who they are and sex too soon is the kiss of death in many relationships. If it’s great sex, you might not notice the fact that they drink too much.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If the sex is bad, you might have gotten to know them enough to work on making it good.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And for your information, casual sex is virtually always poor for women.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It takes time to work it out, and when you do, when there is more caring, your partner is more interested in making it work.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The second problem is that once in the sack you can never go back.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Once sex enters the picture <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">everything</i> changes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At least when you are on the site, your chances of that hook-up are decreased and all the effort put into hunting that person down might translate into a little wait. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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if you’re looking for a meaningful relationship and willing to put in the time, this is the site.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you’re looking for quick and easy access join another site.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>David's wifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17468157675342425570noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5467334768781245423.post-60198088951061784162012-05-11T19:39:00.000-07:002012-05-11T19:39:00.190-07:00Go BleachedWe have Ashley Judd screaming about her face, Rosie yelling about her weight and a lot of other celebrities kvetching about their oppression for not being prefect and judged if they even look like they try. There is just no winning; you are damned if you do and damned if you don't. The truth is many of us are sick and tired of thinking that we are too fat, too thin, too flat, too wrinkled, too saggy and just not ENOUGH. While waiting in line for my groceries at the Piggly Wiggley I admit looking through the <em>Star</em> tabloid to see those undercover pics of cellulite thighs, obvious boob jobs, enlarged primate-looking lips and plastic surgeries gone wrong. Oh my God, I could have crawled into their dimpled fat pockets on the backs of their legs and shrieked in joy. Yes I said that and so did many of you. Why? because <em>they </em>asked for it, <em>they</em> created a standard few of us can achieve, at least after our 30's. I don't have a plastic surgeon on my calling list, do you? The closest I come to a personal trainer is lugging six heavy grocery bags in from the car in one trip and my husband and kids yelling to me, "is dinner ready yet?"<br />
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Women are angry. Every f----ing day we have to be compared to watermelon sized asses and cantaloupe titties- all on a size 2. I thought that was bad, but now we are totally, and I mean <em>totally</em> reduced to crap. Because all of us, celebrities included, has to worry about upgrading their vage, as in vagina. Yes, that sacred vessel, crimped between our thighs, few of us have ever bothered to explore, except perhaps with a mirror and a shaver, before a date, needs to be mangled some more- <em><strong>it needs to be bleached! </strong></em><br />
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I admit the thought of ever letting anyone rip out my public hair and paying for that torture, is ridiculous. Truthfully, I have many friends that engage in this form of female mutilation, but not me. I've been blessed with a regular lover (my husband) who is happy just to get near it and due to his being too cheap to get bifocals. He's thought he has been screwing a 22-year-old for the past 25 years. Don't tell anyone but I've always had a secret fantasy about going to bed with a handsome blind man. Andrea Botcelli would be my choice and being lip read by him might be fine by me.<br />
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Truthfully, if God wanted us to see our vaginas or assholes and worry about them he would have pasted that tunnel of love right on our stomach. Yes, every woman reading this has stared at her stomach at least five times a day. Don't lie, you know you take advantage of every reflective opportunity to see if your paunch is sticking out. If you or I were supposed to see and groom those areas they would be in our full view and at our access.<br />
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Oh no, you couldn't pay me to tear out my pubes. I bought one of those <em>Epilady</em> things the hell with water boarding! Those assholes who invented that device should have sold it as a military secret. Yeah, threaten our enemies with that device; hold them down, pull down their pants and rub that carpet cleaner on their balls. In case you don't know, men don't wax and tear off their hair, which most of us know results the worst pain known to female-kind with the exception of childbirth. Men are cowards, they shave. They take a razor to their private areas. I don't know what they are thinking because frankly testicles with a 5 O'clock shadow are not that appealing. They slap and prick (no pun intended) and actually hurt, as I have been told, like needles.<br />
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The jungle, with an occasional machete, I could accept. But now I hear we are in desperate need to take another step to be beautiful by <strong>bleaching </strong>and<strong> </strong>I'm not talking about hair, I 'm talking about skin. My bf just paid $100 to have her privates bleached snow white- and she said it was a deal. Up until the point that I heard that we women should bleach our happy spot I thought my vertical smile looked pretty damn good. My nameless friend has elephant ears down there, and another has a unicorn, but I thought mine was relatively normal. But now we need to color code! <br />
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Now you might think that this is just a fad. I did know that porn stars were bleaching their anni (the plural for anus's) and vulvi (the plural for vulva), but a company has just come out with a bleach that will lighten all our little grassy knoll's derma. And how are we to check to see to see just how much we should lighten it? Is this like a box of Clariol that comes with the chart? "If your love tunnel is this shade_____ apply for twelve minutes." Do I have to mix it? Does it come with conditioner? Is there an organic or natural form of the product? And how the hell do you apply it? Maybe someone should come up with the puss n' booty party where women bleach one another. I always hated that Tupperware experience and the Pampered Chef. Maybe I'm on to something-NOT. <br />
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Could someone please tell me who made this asshole the vaginal-hue expert? The last time I checked we were all pink. Obviously this guy has spent too much time in front of his large screen doing you-know-what. Yes, I am pissseeeed off. If anyone needs to have a plucked and bleached chicken to enjoy sex they have BIG problems. So here is where I stand. We need representation. This vagina stuff has gone way too far. My vote for my vagina rep is Ashley Judd. Just tell her she has to bleach that blush away. Tell me what you think....<br />
<a data-mce-href="http://jezebel.com/5900928/your-vagina-isnt-just-too-big-too-floppy-and-too-hairyits-also-too-brown" href="http://jezebel.com/5900928/your-vagina-isnt-just-too-big-too-floppy-and-too-hairyits-also-too-brown">http://jezebel.com/5900928/your-vagina-isnt-just-too-big-too-floppy-and-too-hairyits-also-too-brown</a>David's wifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17468157675342425570noreply@blogger.com0